I'm in a Shame Spiral Because of These Trader Joe's Products

I grew up in the '80s, before people had dietary restrictions. The only person who had a food allergy was my friend Giselle (you probably have heard of her. She's that one girl who had a food allergy in the '80s). At birthday parties, Giselle would quietly enjoy a fruit plate while the rest of us rammed cake and Cheetos into our mouths like squirrels in mid-winter.