Think of the things you might have learned about BDSM from Fifty Shades of Grey. OK, now forget pretty much all of that. While the books and movies got a few things right, there's a lot more to the multifaceted world of BDSM that people should know (and try out, if they're interested!).
BDSM is an umbrella term comprising the words describing the erotic practices of Bondage and Discipline (B and D), Domination and Submission (D and S), and Sadism and Masochism (S and M). Carvaka Sex Toys — creators of the informational and ultraclassy Butt Plugs 101 video — just released another instructional video that breaks down the basics of BDSM. Here's what anyone interested in delving into the kinky world should know.
Words to know:
- Bondage — The act of tying someone up. This is done to render the submissive or "sub" vulnerable to the desires and actions of the dominant.
- Dom — The dominant partner.
- Sub — The submissive partner.
- Switch — Someone who switches between the roles of dominant and submissive.
- Discipline — When the submissive obeys the commands of the dominant.
- Sadism — Enjoying the act of inflicting pain.
- Masochism — Enjoying the act of having pain inflicted on you (ex: flogging, spanking).
- Safe word — A word that is decided upon before the session and is said when the sub wants the act to stop. A safe word is used in place of "stop" because the safe word is supposed to be something that wouldn't come up naturally during a session, in order to ensure that the word, when spoken, is taken seriously and that the action is stopped.
- Hard limit — An act that can't be tolerated and that cannot be done. Doing the action may provoke the usage of the safe word and can also end the session/relationship.
- Soft limit — An act that stresses a sub but that he or she can "take in moderation."
And one of the most common questions: why do people enjoy bondage? Well, it's pretty simple. It's fun!
BDSM can be exciting and can even allow participants to feel like they are experiencing a new world. Many subs enjoy the feeling of security they get from being controlled, and oftentimes doms enjoy the feeling of power that comes along with being the one in control. BDSM may not be for everyone, but for many, it's the perfect way to explore their sexuality and add excitement to their sex lives and relationships.
Watch the full video for even more helpful information, and check out a more extensive guide on Carvaka's site.