How Getting Pregnant a Second Time Is Not Like the First

Everyone has wildly different experiences with getting pregnant. For some lucky souls, a month of halfheartedly trying could produce a baby, while others may spend years doing everything imaginable to see a pregnancy test stick turn positive. Just as every pregnancy is different, every conception story is different, too. Unsurprisingly, getting pregnant the second time around may not go as expected.

To put it simply, pregnancy does a lot to a woman's body, and those changes might affect getting pregnant again. Even though my husband and I are still on the only-child path, whether or not we will even be able to get pregnant for a second time is a concern. From cycle issues and previous hypertension problems, my first pregnancy caused some damage. Although I would consider us as having been on the fortunate side of things the first time, there is no guarantee that the second time will be like the first.

Dr. Amos Grunebaum, director of obstetrics and chief of labor and delivery at New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center and an adviser to Fairhaven Health, confirms that pregnancy remains a complicated process, even after a previous successful one. He provided us with some clarity by explaining further.

"Many couples believe that the second time around is as easy as the first time. But that may not be true, and attention should be paid to timing of ovulation and sex and making sure that his fertility is healthy," Dr. Grunebaum told POPSUGAR. "Many times, the second time around trying to get pregnant may be a little more difficult because the mother is older, and age can be associated with more difficulties getting pregnant."

This, of course, feels like a catch-22. Women are told that it's healthiest for our bodies to maintain a wide age gap between children, but in doing so we're risking being able to have a second in the first place. "A woman's age is a significant factor in her fertility," Dr. Grunebaum said. "It's important to consider that fertility decreases with age. If [a woman] had a cesarean delivery, then she should wait at least nine to 12 months before getting pregnant again to ensure the scar in the uterus has adequately healed."

Yet women are having children later and later each generation, with more women having babies over the age of 35 than ever before, so age is a primary concern. Having kids past the age of 35 also presents more risks and potential problems.

When considering age and general health, it's even more important the second time around to take care of yourself. "When trying to get pregnant, a woman has to take her daily prenatal supplement to ensure she takes enough folic acid to prevent fetal malformations," states Dr. Grunebaum. "Folic acid, part of the vitamin B family and very important for a strong pregnancy and healthy fetal development, has been shown not only to decrease the risk of neural tube birth defects like spina bifida, but it has also been shown to reduce other birth defects like congenital heart conditions."

It's not just the age of the woman that can cause issues; men need to think about their health as well. "A recent study found that sperm count has decreased an estimated 50 percent in Western men. And half of couples with fertility issues have a significant male issue," states Dr. Grunebaum. To facilitate their fertility health, he recommends supplements and being more mindful about not wearing underwear that's especially tight.

Besides age, women breastfeeding longer can also have a serious impact on the body. "Breastfeeding affects fertility by delaying ovulation," he maintains. However, "if a woman ovulates regularly and consequently has regular menstrual periods, concerns about breastfeeding and fertility decrease."

Dr. Grunebaum urges second-time moms not to be afraid to talk to their health professionals when trying to conceive, even if it was easy the first time. This is especially true for women who may have had any issues before or during their first pregnancies.

"A couple should see their doctor right away when considering trying to get pregnant if they had problems getting pregnant before, if there are medical issues, or if she has irregular ovulation and menstrual cycles," Dr. Grunebaum said. "In addition, women under 35 should see a specialist after one year of trying unsuccessfully, while women over 35 should see a specialist after six months."