Before you have kids, vacations are all about you — seeking adventure on your own time, leisurely sleeping in, and having sex whenever (and usually wherever) you want. But after kids, vacations usually revolve around where they want to go, activities to keep them happy, and falling into bed after they pass out from a sugar-high. But since you spend all that money to escape from real life and recharge, you should still find time to do what you want to do, even with kids. On a recent beach vacation with our three little ones, my husband and I managed to sneak off for a romantic tryst. Yes, it was a quickie, but it happened! And bonus: we didn't get caught. If you want to reconnect with your spouse on a family vacation, here's how you can pull it off.
- Book a hotel suite with adjoining bedrooms. This depends on your budget and the ages of your kids. If it's not possible to get adjoining rooms, discuss two options: the shower or under the covers.
- Put the kids to bed on the pull-out. Make sure they're tightly tucked in and content to snooze through the night.
- Check that the kids are asleep. Then check again. No really, get up in their faces and confirm that their breathing is even and that they aren't "pretend sleeping."
- Wait 15 minutes. Try not to doze off. If you stay awake, feel assured that 15 minutes is a reasonable amount of time to almost guarantee no kid has to get up to use the bathroom one more time, needs a sip of water, or "can't sleep."
- See if the adjoining bedroom door locks. If it locks, don't feel guilty for closing it. Even if your kids wake up and need you, you'll save them from walking in on a situation that will likely scar them for life. If the door doesn't lock, pick one of your other options.
- Undress quickly. There's no time for foreplay! A nightmare could happen at any moment.
- Keep things quiet. To ensure you don't wake your kids or can hear little footsteps approaching, turn the TV off, put your phones on silent, and make a solid effort to not make any loud noises yourself. Think of it as a fun challenge.
- Just do it. You might be tempted to talk more logistics or to check on the kids one more time, but don't. Everyone is fine and settled, so just get busy.
- Finish up. When kids are so close, it's a sprint, not a marathon.
Good luck, parents!