I Didn't Want to Face the Stigma of Being Pregnant at 15 — I Just Wanted to Be Me

This article is part of POPSUGAR's 50 States, 50 Abortions, a large-scale storytelling project that aims to elevate the voices of people who've had abortions. For more information about how to find an abortion clinic near you, please visit The Cut's abortion service finder.

I had just turned 15 and was a sophomore in high school. I didn't even consider any other options. I grew up in a Catholic family and went to private school, but I knew I had so many dreams for myself. I didn't want to have a child when I was still a child. So the decision was really quick. It was just, this is what I need to do, and I need to figure out how to do it.

My boyfriend and I had started having sex about a month before. I was taking birth control, but I didn't realize that it took time before it went into effect. My body felt different. I'd always been really petite, and I was gaining a little bit of weight. I realized quickly and was like, "Oh, sh*t." I was in denial for two or three weeks, but I knew something was up, so I bought a test and it was positive.

I went into a women's health clinic to confirm that I was pregnant. They did an ultrasound, and I scheduled an appointment a few weeks later. They told me it was $500 if I wasn't going to run it through insurance, so my boyfriend and I just started scrounging up money however we could.

I was a lifeguard. He played poker with friends. I would ask my dad for $20 to go to the movies and not go. It was simply a matter of getting the money in time for the appointment. I found out at some point that it cost an extra $100 to have anesthesia. One night, one of my friends' parents heard me crying about it, and she gave me the extra $100. She was like, "I won't tell anyone. You do what you need to do."

The day of the procedure, my boyfriend and I skipped school and went to the clinic. I remember looking around at everyone in the waiting room. There were some people my age, but there were also grownups with children. I immediately felt OK. I don't remember the procedure at all. I never really talked about it again, because I didn't need to. After the appointment, they told me when to come back, they gave me birth control for three months, and I just moved on from it.

Physically, I was tired. Emotionally, I was so relieved that no one at school had noticed. I know there's a lot of talk about adoption, but I didn't want to be a pregnant 15-year-old and face the stigma that comes with that. I didn't want to be the girl who gave her baby up for adoption her sophomore year. I just wanted to be Gianna. I come from a religious family, but that never bothered me. It was a reproductive-health decision that I got to make without a lot of voices in my ear.

And I was old enough to make that decision. I knew my body. I had already been to an ob-gyn appointment to get birth control. I had been in a doctor's room by myself. I'd made the choice to have sex.

I told my mom many years later, and she said, "I would've supported you. I would've taken you," but I just wanted to move on.

I was just really grateful that the process was so easy, that I knew where the clinic was, and that I was able to get it scheduled so quickly without prolonging it or putting myself in a situation where I was forced to have a baby. That just wasn't the picture I had for myself. And I'm grateful for all the access the clinic gave me. From my first birth-control prescription, to performing the abortion, to later on making sure that I protected myself. I never felt judged, either.

I moved on from the experience, but it all came back to me during the 2016 presidential election and when the Supreme Court was up for a decision. It just blows my mind that we could go so backwards and that the rights I had then are being taken away from people at that age now — even the decisions I had as a 15-year-old, I might not be able to have now as a 34-year-old, which is even more upsetting.

— Gianna (she/her) (West Virginia), as told to Perri Konecky

Image Sources For "Click For Stories From Each State": Unsplash / Aaron Burden, Getty / Sergii Iaremenko/Science Photo Library, Unsplash / Manik Roy and Photo Illustration: Patricia O'Connor