8 Unexpectedly Hilarious Jokes From Drew Barrymore and More Stars at the Golden Globes

Updated on Jan 9, 2017 at 8:30 AM

The Golden Globes are known for being one of the most fun shows of award season, due in no small part to the fact that the stars get to drink all night long. This year, however, they didn't need any Chardonnay to drop some choice one-liners during the annual telecast. Meryl Streep's entire acceptance speech was perhaps the night's most memorable moment, and between taking on serious topics like immigration and paying tribute to her late friend Carrie Fisher, she made some solid jokes. Of course, host Jimmy Fallon brought the house down with a fabulous opening number and monologue. If you missed the show, here are the best lines!

"I just got off the phone with Mariah Carey and she thinks Dick Clark Productions sabotaged my monologue." — Jimmy Fallon, poking fun at Mariah Carey's New Year's Eve flub.

"It's a story about a woman slowly dying of syphilis, which is always, of course, comedy gold." — Hugh Grant, making people realize that "musical or comedy" nominee Florence Foster Jenkins is actually quite dark.

"Those are just some of the qualities you need to be successful in an orgy." — Drew Barrymore, joking with Timothy Olyphant that talent, good people around you, and willingness to work hard are all a recipe for sexual success.

"I play the daughter, although I read for both parts." — Amy Schumer, getting in a jab about how by Hollywood's standards, she could have played the mother in her upcoming film with Goldie Hawn.

"And as we were leaving the theater, standing in the theater was my mom. And that was the moment she told my dad that she wanted a divorce. I never saw my father again after that day. Fantasia Day." — Steve Carell, doing a bit with Kristen Wiig about the first time he saw an animated movie. Maybe you had to be there for this one.

"Hollywood is crawling with outsiders and foreigners, and if we kick 'em all out, you'll have nothing to watch but football and mixed martial arts, which are not the arts." — Meryl Streep, addressing Donald Trump's claims in her politically charged acceptance speech for the Cecil B. DeMille Award.

"I have the distinct privilege of presenting a very big award. I have that privilege because I received this award in the male category last year for The Martian, and that fact alone is funnier, literally, than anything in The Martian." — Matt Damon, deadpanning about the fact that The Martian shouldn't have been counted as a comedy.

"I'm really looking forward to the documentary they're going to make about this year's Golden Globes, called Beard Parade 2017." — Jon Hamm, bringing up the staggering number of beards in the room.