25 Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch Another Episode of My Kid's Favorite TV Show

By Alessia Santoro
PBS
PBS

If your child watches television, then you know that sinking feeling that occurs when you hear the opening bars of their favorite show's high-pitched theme song all too well. We're aware that there's no deeper dread than knowing you have to sit through a half hour of Caillou's voice or Mickey Mouse's giggle on your TV's highest volume, so we compiled a list of 25 things we'd rather do instead.

If we never had to watch an episode of My Little Pony or Bob the Builder again, we'd happily comply with this awful list, and we think you might as well.

  1. Not be able to wash our hair for a month.
  2. Eat our child's half-chewed leftovers for the rest of our lives.
  3. Stand next to a tween at a Taylor Swift concert.
  4. Go back to dial-up internet.
  5. Have a weeklong stomach bug . . .
  6. And simultaneously take care of our entire family riddled with the virus . . .
  7. While every toilet in the house is broken.
  8. Change an explosive diaper.
  9. Drive cross-country with three screaming babies.
  10. Never be able to eat our favorite food again.
  11. Listen to our kids play recorder for 48 hours straight.
  12. Get a face tattoo.
  13. Volunteer our cars to be crushed in a monster truck rally.
  14. Wear every article of clothing we own all Summer long.
  15. Play dodgeball with Olympic shot-putters.
  16. Go Black Friday shopping with four kids in tow.
  17. Give up our own television shows for a year.
  18. File taxes for everyone in our neighborhood.
  19. Wait on an airport security line with hungry children.
  20. Only be able to listen to the Wiggles soundtrack in the car.
  21. Buy a whole new wardrobe then watch someone pour bleach all over everything.
  22. Clean every toilet in an entire shopping mall.
  23. Volunteer to clip huge dogs' nails at the groomer for a week.
  24. Make a list of things we'd rather do than watch our child's favorite TV show.
  25. Literally anything.