One of the best and worst things about writing for a love and sex site is the constant need for sexy stock photos. If you happen to glimpse at our screens while we're choosing photos, you'd think we were really into awkward softcore porn. Most of the photos leave something to be desired on the hotness scale, but some are downright hilarious, perplexing, or disturbing. Regardless, they deserve to be shared; here are 26 of the weirdest sex photos we've found.
So much to unpack here. Why is she wearing athletic socks? Why is the kitchen so empty? Is she sad because she's moving? Why isn't there any coffee in her mug? And how am I supposed to find the sexiness in a photo with so many unanswered questions?
They look overdressed for this setting. Also, should they be smoking in there?
However, you probably don't need to use them all at once.
I get it: dudes make stupid jokes like pretending to have sex with a mural. But why would I ever need a stock photo of that?
I'm glad that this couple is still intimate after all these years, but if they want to incorporate whipped cream into their lovemaking, I don't want to know about it.
I'm not sure what's going on here, and I don't think anyone else is sure either. Also, who has an orgy in the daytime?
That joke might get me reported to HR, and the behavior featured in this photo definitely would.
This is what happens when you get your role-playing accessories from a high school drama prop department.
Anytime there are multiple pastel scarves hanging above the bed, you know it's about to get nasty.
Never mind that this guy is stranded in the desert without a shirt or shoes; he simply MUST get that blowup doll inflated!
He can keep his hat on as long as she can keep wearing her house shoes.
This is one of the most puzzling uses of furry handcuffs I've ever seen. Also, very unsafe in the case of a fire.
Seriously, I'm not even religious and this disturbs me. The carrot is a subtle touch.
"Hey baby, let me lay you down on a makeshift log bridge." (In what appears to be an urban setting?)
There's just something about fruit that really turns a lady on, you know?
We were color-coordinating his button-downs and one thing just led to another . . .