Falling Inn Love: 60 Unfiltered Thoughts I Had While Watching Netflix's New Rom-Com

Updated on Sep 12, 2019 at 5:10 PM

If you like terrible puns, charming accents, and very rude goats, then oh boy, do I have a movie for you! The latest romantic comedy to enter Netflix's ever-growing collection is Falling Inn Love, and if you have five or more bottles of wine at your disposal, it's truly a delight to watch.

Directed by Roger Kumble, the film stars singer and actress Christina Milian as San Francisco city girl Gabriela, who spontaneously enters a contest to "win an inn" — aka the seemingly picturesque Bellbird Valley Farm — after a bad breakup and getting let go. Lo and behold, she wins! Which means she has to travel from her home in San Francisco to New Zealand, where the Bellbird is located. Of course, when she arrives, not everything is as it seems: the inn is a dilapidated mess, she's running out of money, and she can't stop butting heads with the town's handsome contractor, Jake (Adam Demos).

If you're wondering whether Gabriela fixes up not only the inn but also her heart (awwww), then read on — armed with wine, popcorn, and little to no shame, I broke down all my favorite moments from Falling Inn Love, just for you.

OK, so this is what we know about Gabriella Diaz: She's a driven San Francisco career woman! She loves the environment! She works with something called "gray water"! She enjoys virtual cycling and has a crappy boyfriend!
I googled "gray water," and apparently it has something to do with sewage. I have to hand it to the writers of this movie for not giving her the standard rom-com heroine job of magazine columnist.
Her nickname is Gabz. (Yes, with a z — I put on the subtitles to make sure.)
Side note: How does anyone watch movies without subtitles these days? Aren't you guys worried you might miss something? Don't you have loud neighbors who blast Ariana Grande at all hours of the day?!
Anyway, back to Gabz.
More on what we know about her: she's smart as hell, and she seems to be carrying her environmental waste company despite it being run by a group of useless frat bros — one of whom is actually named Chad, by the way — who show up late to her presentations and force her to eat all of the doughnuts (who hasn't that happened to?).
She also has a boyfriend, Dean, who seems noncommittal and is very much not into Gabriella's suggestion that they move in together despite each of them paying what I can only imagine is no less than $1 trillion a month for their respective San Francisco apartments. Get it together, Dean.

Ah yes, the classic rom-com cliché of the heroine complaining to her friend in yoga class, only to get shushed by the yoga instructor for being too chatty. How did this become a ~thing~ in movies? I'd love to do a deep dive into this phenomenon, but we have more Gabriella Diaz to attend to.
Any friend who suggests you force your significant other to propose via ultimatum — "rock or you walk" — is not a true friend. Come on, Gabz!
Wow, OK, so this yoga teacher is definitely a serial killer, huh?
Surprise, surprise: her frat bro coworkers end up losing the investors needed to fund their company, and Gabz ends up losing her job. What about the gray water?!

Gabriella should've known her relationship with Dean was doomed as soon as he ordered her a raw kale salad instead of the "comfort carbs" she desperately wanted.
This man slapped her hand away from a bread basket? Does that not qualify for instant jail time?!
I'm kind of living for the way Gabz dumps Dean with a giant cup of fro-yo in hand not long after the kale incident. ("If you can't commit to a closet shelf, how can you commit to me?") Never doubt the inspirational power of fake ice cream, I guess!
Despite her badass sendoff to Dean, she ends up wallowing on the couch, chugging two bottles of white wine while scrolling through old photos of him.
But then she enters the Win an Inn contest! And it seems like hope is not lost! There's even a montage of Gabz spinning around throwing flowers like she's in a tampon commercial!
That brings us to the crux of the movie: she wins the inn, which is located in New Zealand, and decides to fly there immediately.
For someone who's as big of an overthinker as Gabz, you'd assume she'd research the hell out of the potentially sketchy inn she just won. But you'd be wrong! Because all she does is say it's "adorable" before jetting off to Auckland, leaving her destructive friend to stay in her apartment lighting meditative candles.

On the way to find her new inn — The Bellbird Valley Farm — Gabz gets dropped off in the middle of nowhere and her suitcase goes careening down a hill, slamming into a hot guy's ute.
What's a ute, you might be wondering? Well, my fellow American, ute is apparently a New Zealand slang term for "utilitarian vehicle" (aka truck). Gonna figure out a way to work this into my everyday vernacular.
Wait . . . does the hunky love interest — Jake Taylor — have an Australian accent? Or is that a New Zealand accent? Do I have any idea what either of these accents actually sounds like? Where is this movie taking place? Where am I?!
Gabz just said "what the dumpster" and I feel like you all need to know.
Gabz makes it clear to this dude from the get-go that she's a strong, independent, gray-water-loving woman who doesn't need a man . . . which can only mean she's going to have to grovel for his help later on, right?

The way Gabz drives on the wrong side of the road is the way I drive normally (translation: badly).
Not gonna lie, I could watch Jake Taylor talk about rusty faucets all day.
What is a jelly whip and where can I get one? (Actually, is it related to those meat jelly appetizers from A Christmas Prince? Never mind . . . )
At this point in the movie — a whopping 27 minutes in — we know the contest to win the Bellbird Inn was a scam, the woman who used to own it no longer does because of a mysterious "tragedy" (I think?), and I desperately need a pet goat.
Oh, that's right! The inn comes with a goat named Gilbert who does as he pleases, waking up Gabz each morning by shoving his face in hers.
If this movie ends without Gilbert asking Gabz if she wants to live deliciously, this will have been a waste.
Another thing I'm taking away from this movie is that all I need to do to get free lattes and baked goods from an adorable cafe owner is abandon my job and boyfriend and move to New Zealand on a whim? Fine. Done.
Alright folks, we've got our first montage of the movie! It includes Gilbert the goat shenanigans, exploding chandeliers, and Gabz quoting The Princess Bride to the weeds in her yard. (I hope that's the clip they'll play at the Oscars when Gilbert is nominated for best supporting actor.)

The Tea Rose Inn, run by Gabz's rival in town, Charlotte (Anna Jullienne), looks like it was decorated by Dolores Umbridge.
(It's a lace-covered, old-timey mess filled with antique dolls that undoubtedly house the souls of multiple dead children.)
It seems Charlotte wanted to buy the Bellbird for herself to expand her "inn-pire." Fine, Charlotte. I'll allow you this pun only because I'm scared your dolls are going to come alive at night and kill me if I don't.
OK, we just got some more background on good ol' Jake: his high school sweetheart, Meghan, tragically died three years ago. (Somewhat less importantly, it also seems like he owns approximately two or three t-shirts.)
Jake Taylor has a habit of biting his lip, and it's required me to open another bottle of wine.

One of my favorite rom-com clichés by far is when a character says something like "HAH! I never get sick!" And then the movie jump cuts to them all gross with the flu. Very happy to report Falling Inn Love has one!
(Gabz gets the flu, and Jake comes by to fix her sink and bring her tea. *swoon*)
Jake and Gabz get another chance to bond at the local carnival raising money for the Volunteer Fire Department, where Jake is manning the dunk tank.
(By the way: the audacity of this movie to have Jake in a dunk tank WITH a shirt on!!! SMH.)
After a few cute little bonding sessions, Jake has agreed to help Gaby renovate the inn, with the two of them going in on the project and paying 50 percent each. (I think Jake is going to 100 percent sweep her off her feet, though.) (Ugh, I'm sorry. I've had so much wine.)
During their demo day (thank you, Fixer Upper), they find a stack of secret love letters hidden in the wall. They read them together, and honestly, the scene is so romantic that I have nothing sarcastic to say about it.
If I still had Tinder, "Wanna help a girl grout?" would be my new bio.
Ready for another fabulously cliché rom-com moment? When Gabz calls her new fireplace beautiful, Jake turns to her and says, "She sure is," while looking right at Gabz. Le sigh.
Well, I definitely wasn't expecting an awkward lip-sync to Freak Nasty's "Da'Dip" in this movie, but here we are.
Are there really no snakes in New Zealand? *books ticket, buys inn*

Uh-oh: Chad just called Gabz and offered her the high-powered job of her gray-water-drenched dreams back in San Francisco. Will she leave Jake and his three t-shirts behind?!
Chad is worth all the douchey-ness simply for the line, "Finish up your Habitat for Hobbits and come home." Damn, Chad.
OK, I need to ask: was this movie funded by the New Zealand tourism board? Because the amount of times the words "New Zealand" are mentioned throughout is kind of insane?
Example: Jake bitterly turning to Gabz and saying, "I thought you found something in New Zealand," when she says she might take the new job.
Jake and Gabz end up on the rocks after he learns she might leave, and they finish up the last few days of the project in near silence. How she remains quiet with him grunting around sweaty and shirtless is beyond me.

The big day has arrived! The Bellbird Inn is ready, and it actually looks . . . very cute, inside and out. And how do I know this? Because Gabz and Jake give a lengthy, HGTV-level tour of every single appliance in the home. It's weird, but I guess I appreciate knowing what an environmentally friendly antique ice cream maker looks like.
Charlotte and her evil dolls conspired against Gabz, attempting to get her to go back to America by stealing her phone and texting Dean to say that if he really cared, he'd fly to New Zealand and get her.
And he does! He even arranges a real estate buyer to come over from Australia to make an offer on the inn. Gabz seems pissed about him bringing her, and I'm not sure why? Isn't the point to sell this place, girl?
Of course, it doesn't matter in the end, because Gabz declares she doesn't want to sell the inn, having learned "the Kiwi way of life." (New Zealand tourism board, stand up.)

And then disaster strikes! Charlotte's inn catches on fire, and everyone at the Bellbird's party rushes over to help stop it.
Charlotte legit risks her life to save her scary demon dolls by running directly into the flames. I guess I have to respect that level of dedication.
Jake heroically runs in and hoists some old man over his shoulder, saving his life. It's a big, emotional, slow-mo moment.
Thanks to the drama of the fire, Jake and Gabz are ready to reconcile and make out in front of their dream home. Ah, Kiwi love.
The movie ends with love for Gilbert, too: apparently, he's had a girlfriend all this time. I wonder if they're still together or if he's let fame go to his head.

If I somehow haven't convinced you to watch this gloriously cheesy film, I hope the trailer can. Just press play, people!