13 Signs Your Marriage Can Still Be Saved, According to Experts

No one's perfect, and therefore, no spouse is perfect. And that's OK. Happiness expert and author of Meeting Your Half-Orange, Amy Spencer, believes acknowledging this fact is key in rebooting your marriage. According to her studies, it all comes down to the relationship physics of putting yourself in your spouse's shoes. How are your partner's behaviors, moods, and choices impacted by your behaviors, moods, and choices? Have there been moments where you unfairly criticized your spouse or hurt their feelings first? Citing these instances will allow you to then shift how you react in future situations.

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Marriage therapist and bestselling author of Divorce Busting and The Sex-Starved Marriage Michele Weiner-Davis says: "When people are done, they get to a point where there's no turning back." That said, when you find yourself constantly mulling over the decision about whether to leave, there are still most likely plenty of sound reasons to stay and rebuild the foundation of your relationship.

Although two people will never agree on everything, Robert Weiss, a licensed clinical social worker and certified sexual addiction therapist, says that "if there is at least a little common ground regarding religion, politics, finances, education, and the like, there is a decent foundation upon which to build." Therefore, if you both share the same core values and can agree to disagree on other topics, there's a good chance you can work through your issues and challenges.

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"One of the primary reasons for being around another person is that it's fun and enjoyable at least some of the time," Weiss says. Despite difficult times, if you still enjoy being around each other and partaking in hobbies together, then that might just be another indicator that your relationship is worth saving.

When a marriage starts to become challenging, it is not uncommon for spouses to begin wondering if there is something (or someone) better out there. However, according to Elisabeth Joy LaMotte, a psychotherapist and the founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center, the grass is not always greener. "Typically, the challenges you are facing in your marriage are ones that will eventually surface with someone else as well, so it is worth connecting with a professional to see if you can revive the relationship," she says.

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Regardless of what's going on, LaMotte also believes that "a sign that your relationship is worth saving is if you still respect your spouse and feel respected in the marriage." By providing the respect each other deserves, you both will continue to feel accepted and are more likely to vocalize your honest thoughts and emotions.

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Every now and then, we all have a tendency to say things we don't mean, especially in the heat of anger. Yes, these words can be extremely hurtful, but it is important to remember they aren't always the best measure of what your partner truly wants. When this takes place, Andrew Christensen, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles, suggests couples speak openly and calmly after any argument. This way, you both can "parse out how you really feel and if the relationship is worth saving."

No matter how much you and your spouse might disagree, author and relationship expert Rachel Russo claims it's the memories of happy times that are worth holding onto. "Great memories are the glue that can hold a relationship together," she says. She advises couples to reminisce on how loved they once made each other feel in the past. This way, "they can get back to that happy place again" and make new memories.

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Thanks to the stresses of everyday life, all relationships will inevitably fall into ruts from time to time, but that doesn't mean it's time to throw in the towel just yet. Leslie Petruk, the director of The Stone Center for Counseling & Leadership in Charlotte, NC, says: "If you clearly love your partner but just need to add some spark back in the relationship, your marriage may be worth saving."

Trust is the most essential ingredient to any healthy relationship, as it's the anchor for a solid foundation. When two people share a strong level of trust, they start thinking of themselves as a team, knowing they have each other's back no matter what life throws their way. "Couples that think of themselves as a team, are much more likely to stay together," says Joe Beam, PhD, the founder and chair of Marriage Helper.

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There's no denying that the majority — if not all — of couples experience hard times after having kids. With all the stress, distraction, and constant exhaustion that stem from parenting, it doesn't take long before the romance starts to fizzle and couples drift apart. But licensed attorney and mediator Alison Patton says this strain shouldn't be in and of itself a reason to get divorced but rather a challenge to be addressed. "Realize you'll still have to be connected to your spouse after divorce because of your kids, so there's every incentive to make the marriage work."

If you and your partner simply cannot picture life without each other and are both eager to forgo prideful and self-righteous feelings, this signals yet another sign your relationship can be saved. "You owe it to yourself, and to each other, to try and address what is causing issues, and see if they can be fixed," says Nikki Martinez, a counselor.

Just as it takes two to tango, both partners will need to be on board 100 percent to turn a relationship around. "If both people are willing to do the work to rebuild and maintain the relationship, and if they still love and respect one another, the marriage is worth salvaging," says Marcia Sirota, a psychiatrist and founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute.