17 Heart-Wrenching Memoirs About Addiction

Lisa Smith was the quintessential functioning alcoholic . . . until she was not. Girl Walks Out of a Bar is Smith's honest and raw perspective about her hauntingly contrasting life: by day, she's a successful corporate lawyer, and by night, dependent on copious amounts of alcohol and cocaine. Although she was able to hide her addiction at work, the round-the-clock binges couldn't hide the self-hatred and downward spiral Smith was on. It's not your typical addiction memoir, but her story is a cunning take on alcoholism in the world of corporate law. When you get to the part about her recovery, you'll find yourself cheering her on as if she were your best friend. A true success story you won't be able to put down. — Perri Konecky

Longtime New York Times writer David Carr, who died in 2015, takes a journalistic approach to his own addiction story in The Night of the Gun, piecing together what really happened during his hazily remembered years of crack addiction. His memoir doesn't shy away from upsetting details: handing the mother of his children a crack pipe as her water broke and relapsing years later when he convinced himself he could handle having one drink. This incredibly well-written and well-reported memoir is like nothing I've ever read. — Nancy Einhart

How to Murder Your Life is essentially a Wiki guide on exactly what the title suggests. Former beauty editor Cat Marnell recounts vivid memories like elevator rides with Anna Wintour and detailed hallucinations of rats in the Condé Nast fashion closet. She had a magazine career many could only dream of, but her side hustle of doctor-shopping around Manhattan's finest psychiatrists came with a price. Marnell's dark turn from prescription medication dependency to abusing exuberant amounts of heroin, cocaine, and all the pills she could find took a toll on her life that not even the chicest under-eye concealer could hide. It's dark, it's self-destructive, and it's compelling in a way that only someone who has come to terms with their journey could write. — PK

Do yourself a favor and read Beautiful Boy before Oct. 12, when the film of the same name comes out. This gut-punch of a book comes at addiction from the perspective of a father whose teenage son, Nic, is addicted to methamphetamines. Sheff examines the ups and downs of his son's addiction and recovery in a way that will feel familiar to anyone who has loved an addict. — NE

Nic Sheff's memoir, Tweak, acts as a companion piece to his father's Beautiful Boy, telling the story of Nic's addiction from his point of view. Both Sheffs attempt to examine how Nic's upbringing and past could have led him to this point, but Nic's book feels more raw, for obvious reasons. With honesty and absolutely no sugarcoating, he details how his addiction escalated from getting drunk at age 11 to drug experimentation and eventually meth and heroin addiction. — NE

I'm Just Happy to Be Here is a recommendation from my mom, who raves about Janelle Hanchett's style of writing. The memoir, which is a spin on her Renegade Mothering blog, takes readers through Hanchett's emotional journey of drug abuse and parenting and the chaos that ensues when the two are combined. At 21 years old, Hanchett was expecting her first child with a man that she met at a bar three months prior. She's forced to table her career dreams and battle a serious case of postpartum depression that, unfortunately, was only assuaged with a bottle of wine and cocaine. Her memoir is a refreshingly raw, contrasting perspective on the foolproof idea of motherhood. She proves that the right support system can pull you out of even the darkest places. — PK

Amy Dresner had a wealthy upbringing and a fortunate life of privilege . . . until Christmas Eve 2011 when it all came crashing down and the handcuffs were slapped on. Despite years of drug abuse and sex addiction, Dresner had sailed by until she was arrested for felony domestic violence after threatening her husband with a bread knife while high on Oxycontin, and left without everything she relied on for her life of excessive indulgence. A former stand-up comic, Dresner delivered a debut memoir equal parts hilarious and chilling. My Fair Junkie is a must-read story. — PK

One of several excellent memoirs on this list written by women, Drinking: A Love Story is a brutally honest account of a "sophisticated" high-functioning alcoholic and disordered eater who works as a journalist by day. Knapp unravels how the seemingly normal social activity that is drinking turned into something much darker and lonelier and how she finally said goodbye to a comfort that she loved (and loathed). — NE

One of the most literary memoirs on this list, Bill Clegg's visceral Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man recounts the author's struggle with crack addiction — specifically the period of time when he abandoned his partner and his job as a literary agent to indulge a two-month crack binge. Shifting back and forth in time, the book acutely details Clegg's unglamorous highs and paranoid lows. — NE

Imagine if you went through your adolescent diary and reached out to all the stupid boys who broke your heart and girls who betrayed your trust for the sake of the social hierarchy — that's what Lesley Arfin did in Dear Diary. For me, I've buried the memories of middle school torment and drama in an untraceable part of my brain, but a 20-something Arfin goes back and retraces those memories looking for answers about life and the path to a heroin addiction. Dear Diary is a lighthearted read about one woman's journey to self-acceptance, even if it means facing the embarrassing moments of her past. — PK

While Burroughs has written extensively about his life, this memoir focuses on the period when he juggled a successful job in advertising (sense a theme here?) with a drinking problem. As the name suggests, Dry: A Memoir focuses on the aftermath of an addiction as much as the author's drinking days. A particularly poignant moment describes Burroughs returning home from rehab to find his apartment decorated with hundreds of empty booze bottles. — NE

In Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood, Koren Zailckas offers a cautionary tale about how high school and college binge-drinking can develop into addiction. Like many of the authors on this list, Zailckas had a moment when she realized her drinking had veered into abuse that she could no longer normalize. Zailckas does a particularly poignant job of capturing the self-consciousness of girlhood, the normalization of "pre-partying," and the deep shame that accompanies a hangover. — NE

In Blackout, Sarah Hepola is forced to face the one person that she neglected during her addiction: herself. When drunk, Hepola was creative and independent, but when her alter ego sobered up, she was left picking up the pieces and figuring out where the hell those bruises came from. It's a vulnerable story about one woman forced to fall out of love with alcohol and fall in love with herself. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you might even learn a little bit about yourself through Hepola's own journey. — PK

Like Beautiful Boy, Abraham Verghese's The Tennis Partner tells the story of addiction from the perspective of someone who loves an addict. While working at a hospital in Texas, the author and doctor meets David, a medical student in recovery who becomes his tennis partner. By the time David relapses into his intravenous cocaine addiction, the two have become very close friends, and Verghese attempts to save David as he unravels into utter darkness. This book also exposes how startlingly common addiction is in the medical community and explores the support systems for addicted physicians. The Tennis Partner sticks with me in a way that few books have. — NE

Lit came as a recommendation from Girl Walks Out of a Bar author Lisa Smith. Following Karr's 1995 New York Times bestseller The Liars' Club and her 2000 memoir Cherry, her journey of alcoholism and recovery comes full circle in her 2009 memoir Lit. While her first two books detailed Karr's troubled childhood and early adulthood, Lit truly takes you inside the mind of an addict in an incredibly well-written and riveting way. She faces the tumultuous relationships of her past and, in turn, finds solace in religion. — PK

Another recommendation from Lisa Smith: Between Breaths details former ABC News 20/20 anchor Elizabeth Vargas's lifelong struggle with extreme anxiety and the solace she found in alcohol. On air, she was poised and put together, but off screen, she was dealing with the guilt of her secret addiction while trying to stay afloat at home and at work. It's about denial, motherhood, and finally getting the help she needed. — PK

BONUS! Smoke isn't necessarily about addiction, but it's an incredibly compelling story about the impact of marijuana on one naïve woman's life. Meili Cady moved to Los Angeles to become an actress, as one does, but when her funds ran out and her career wasn't taking off, she lost hope. Enter: Lisette Lee — the alleged heiress of the Samsung fortune, and the self-proclaimed "Korean Paris Hilton." The two instantly became close friends, and Cady agreed to be her personal assistant, but what Cady didn't know was that she was the pretty, innocent face behind a massive drug-smuggling operation. By the time Cady realized what was going on, it was far too late. She quickly had to come to terms with the fact that the diamond-covered con artist in her MySpace Top 8 was not the BFF Cady thought she was. — PK

If you or someone you know is in need of drug-related treatment or counseling, you can reach the Substance and Abuse Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) on its Treatment Referral Routing Service helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

SAMHSA's National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.