Bring Out the Hors d'Oeuvres, David! This $90 Schitt's Creek Charcuterie Board Is Calling Us

Every editorial product is independently selected by our editors. If you buy something through our links, we may earn commission.

What were the Rose family's dinner parties like before their lives went to Schitt('s Creek)? We imagine expensive brie and high-quality Champagne served on silver platters, maybe even some of those adorable salami roses handcrafted by a skilled kitchen staff. If the "fold in the cheese" scene in season two is any indication, it's clear Moira and David never played any part in putting together these lavish banquets. But if they ever did try their hand at hosting their own dinner party, we suspect these lavish Schitt's Creek Charcuterie Boards ($90) from Etsy would be the perfect centerpieces.

In honor of the iconic cooking episode, one board reads, "If you say 'fold in the cheese' one more time," while the other offers some sage advice: "In a world where you can be anything, be the Schitt." Made out of bamboo, the boards don't stain or absorb odors, but the best detail by far is the hidden knife drawer, which contains four stainless-steel cheese knives. Here's how to use them:

  • Cheese Fork: features two prongs to pick up cubes or slices of cheese.
  • Parmesan Knife: has a pointed edge designed to break off pieces of hard cheese.
  • Flat Knife: has a flat blade perfect for slicing into larger blocks of cheese.
  • Cheddar Knife: most similar to a regular knife, it's perfect for cutting semifirm cheeses like jack or cheddar and soft cheeses like brie.

Also, at 15.5 x 11.5 inches wide, there's plenty of room to layer on the salami and those fancy almonds with the honey drizzled on top — or some more unconventional charcuterie-board options, if you're feeling wild. Shop the charcuterie boards for the Moira or David in your life ahead, and remember to enjoy your hors d'oeuvres with a glass of Herb Ertlinger oak Chardonnay.