Demi Lovato on Wilmer Valderrama: "Being Sick Was Always a Part of My Relationship With Him"

Updated on Oct 8, 2016 at 9:00 AM

For that 1 percent of people on the planet that didn't yet believe that 2016 was Demi Lovato's most empowering year yet, there's this Glamour interview. The newly single "Body Say" singer is opening up about her struggles with depression and addiction like she never has before, discussing her triggers and relapses, talking about her sexuality, and defending her statements about Taylor Swift's lack of feminism (even taking a stance against her squad).

And though her quotes are definitely the highlight of her cover story for the November issue of the magazine, on newsstands Oct. 11, we're loving the way her natural freckles are on full display on the cover and stunning spread. Take a look straight ahead.

On how she feels different today than she did in 2010: "I feel healthy; I feel happy. Back then I felt an emptiness inside of me, and I reached for so many things — a person, a substance, a behavior — to fill that void. And now there's not a void anymore. The void is filled by me taking care of myself . . . Getting sober was difficult. I went into rehab, I came out, and I didn't stay sober. I still had issues occasionally. Now some days it's difficult; some days it's easy. But I like to focus on what I'm doing now, which is giving back."
On women embracing their sexuality: "I was judgmental of artists who were exploring their sexuality, and I thought, 'Why are they doing that?' They don't have to. They've got a good voice . . . Now I realize these artists were embracing a part of life I should be OK singing about as well. There's nothing wrong with a woman being proud of an element of her life that's talked about in rap music all the time! We don't have music that talks about sexuality from a female standpoint."
On the comments she made about Taylor Swift ("Don't brand yourself a feminist if you don't do the work") and how she sees herself doing the work: "Just speaking out. I'm not afraid to talk about the fact that women get paid less than men in the United States and how unfair that is. Talking about it at all is doing the work. And I think every woman does her part in some way. But I think in certain situations, certain people could be doing more if they're going to claim that as part of their brand. To be honest, and this will probably get me in trouble, I don't see anybody in any sort of squad that has a normal body. It's kind of this false image of what people should look like. And what they should be like, and it's not real . . . It's not realistic. And I think that having a song and a video about tearing Katy Perry down, that's not women's empowerment. We all do things that aren't, but I have to ask myself, 'Am I content with calling myself a feminist?' Yes, because I speak out."

Keep reading for more quotes from Demi's interview in Glamour, including why her breakup with Wilmer Valderrama was for the best, how she deals with "Disney PTSD," and the embarrassing moment she had in the White House.

On how her Disney roots still affect her and Nick Jonas: "PTSD. [Laughs.] We used to work so much and so hard for very little that when our schedules get too busy, I immediately think about the past. It gives me anxiety, and it's kinda like legit PTSD . . . You work so hard, and you don't really reap the rewards, or I didn't. But I was on such a platform that gave me the rest of my career — I couldn't complain. [So now] whenever our schedules start to get busy, I start getting triggered because the things I used to do to cope were unhealthy. When I have a long day, I think, if [I went back to those things], I'd be able to get through it. But we now work with our manager, and we have amazing schedules."
On her triggers: "Seeing cocaine in movies. I've never watched The Wolf of Wall Street. I can't. I don't like to go out to clubs, because I find myself seeing remnants of drugs in the bathroom. I did the Victoria's Secret Swim Special, and being surrounded by supermodels' bodies was triggering to me. I remember asking, 'How do you maintain your figure?' Some said, 'I really have to work at it.' Others said, 'It's genetics.' It was interesting to hear that it wasn't through unhealthy [behaviors]. It was a great learning experience. I still felt sexy, having a different body than these women. I had Wilmer there, who loved my curves — that helped."

On ending her relationship with Wilmer Valderrama: "I think it's healthy to be able to start over with someone else. Being sick was always a part of my relationship with him; I always had something wrong with me. I needed to let go of that. It was hard to depart from somebody who saw everything, but it may be nice to start fresh with somebody. Because that person I was when I was a lot younger is not who I am today."
On why she still posts photos of her body on social media despite the haters: "Because I don't look at the criticism anymore. If somebody calls me fat, even in a vulnerable moment, I laugh to myself and think, I'm doing everything I can, so there's nothing I can do about it. I don't have a six-pack. Maybe I don't even want a six-pack. It doesn't sound very appealing."

On being embarrassed to sing "Cool for the Summer" at a state dinner at the White House: "I left it out of the set list because I was like, 'Surely it's too inappropriate for the White House,' and then [the First Lady] requested it. And so I was like, 'OK, here we go!' [Laughs.] Like, 'Tell me what you want, what you like, it's OK.' . . . I didn't look [the President] in the eyes. And I didn't look her in the eyes, either. When I normally say, 'Shh, don't tell your mother,' I changed the lyric to 'Shh, don't tell the President.'"