10 People Confess the Real Reasons They Cheated, and the Answers May Surprise You
No matter the reason, cheating is a choice, not a mistake. It is an act consciously chosen by a person in a relationship, and it can have very real consequences for all parties involved. However, though not all explanations are good ones, nearly every cheater has a reason. Sometimes cheating isn't done to hurt someone else, but because the cheater is hurting. Sometimes the cheating has nothing to do with the relationship at all.
Reddit users were asked why they cheated, and you might be surprised to hear the answers they gave. We may not all agree on what constitutes as cheating, or whether cheating is ever OK, but these quotes prove that the reason someone cheats is never simple.
Answers have been edited for length and clarity.
They've been hurt before, and so they've forgotten how to trust others.
"I'm really not good in relationships. It wasn't always that way. It's just that the first two women I was with cheated on me with a friend (different friend), both of whom told me about it later. I guess I developed a mindset that if I couldn't trust women and they were likely to do it again in the future, I might as well not deprive myself."
They weren't having satisfying sex.
"My wife and I had been experiencing some rather serious bedroom trouble. We went from trying to break each other in half on a regular basis to one day her not wanting sex. At all. She and I tried several different things to remedy the situation. Nothing worked. The sex suddenly started to feel burdensome, I began to feel like my needs were a chore, and she said as much as well."
They were trying to settle a score.
"He cheated on me first, I couldn't get over it, and I wanted him to feel the same way. So I revenge cheated. I can't entirely say I regret it nor am I proud of it. It's something that was wrong to do, that ultimately didn't earn me any kind of closure or satisfaction."
They weren't spending enough time with their S.O.
"Long-distance relationship. I was not the most caring or appreciative partner. Went out with friends. Very sexually aggressive girl came onto me. Went home with her. Felt awful afterwards. Confessed to everything even though I easily could have avoided being caught. Tried to salvage the relationship but it just didn't work."
They lost interest.
"I got bored. I cheated on him constantly. Always did a good job of hiding my dirty work. He never found out until I stopped hiding it. There was nothing really wrong with the relationship either. He treated me beautifully, sex was great, I just fell out of love, lost the attraction."
They were never in love to begin with.
"I was in a relationship where he loved me more than I loved him. I think I was just in it because it was habitual, comforting, and most of all, easy. I barely had to put in any work because whenever I needed him, he'll be there. It wasn't fair to him at all, but I honestly was just too comfortable and lazy to break up with him. Then I met someone. He made me laugh, he challenged me, and we had so many more things in common."
They felt neglected.
"The affection she showed me gradually slowed to a trickle and then just . . . nothing. No matter how hard I tried, she would just start treating me less like a partner and more like an obligation. It got to the point where she'd reject me for sex constantly. I felt unloved, unappreciated, and just flat-out shitty."
They wanted an escape from a toxic relationship.
"I had an abusive partner for a while. He was manipulative and pretty much only came around when he wanted sex. I wasn't allowed to have friends or go out without him, so I was sitting at home and chatting on Facebook with an old friend. He asked if I wanted to come watch a movie at his house, and I said yes. Because I needed to be free."
They couldn't resist temptation.
"Because I'm a sex addict. Yes, it's a thing. No, I didn't self-diagnose. I'm not going to sit here and say that it's not my fault. I may have an issue, a problem, a sickness, or whatever you want to call it. I also have the ability to correct it, and I don't. All I can say in my defense is that I can't help myself when the moment strikes."
They fell in love with someone else.
"Because I had been interested in the person I cheated with for far longer and it felt worth it. Looking back, even though it cost me the relationship, it was worth it. My current relationships just stay open, 'cause that's easier."