Nonnegotiable Rules For Naming Babies

Published on Oct 13, 2017 at 3:50 PM

Naming a baby was honestly the best part of being pregnant. For years, I had kept a list on my phone of various names that I liked and wanted to keep as a possibility for when I actually had a child. Once we found out the gender, we decided on our son's name on the car ride home and that was that; but for many people, it's not that easy.

Societal pressure, obligations, and indecisiveness can turn what should be a joyful experience into a stressful ordeal. Following these nonnegotiable rules for naming a baby won't guarantee that they'll love their name, but it should alleviate some stress.

Only the parents have to like it. During my pregnancy, my husband and I were forthright with what name we had chosen for our son. Mostly it was met with adoring sighs and generally favorable remarks; however, there were a few instances where people were obviously not fans. Some family members and friends continued to suggest different names even though they knew we had made up our minds. But it doesn't matter what they think, even if it's a beloved grandparent or a best friend. The only people who have to like the name of the baby are the parents who are raising the child. Everyone else will just have to get used to it.
If you pick an alternate spelling, don't be mad or surprised when people get it wrong. If you really like the name Kelly, but want your daughter to have a name that truly represents her uniqueness, you may decide on an alternate spelling, such as Kelleigh. And even though it's completely your call, don't get mad at your kid's teacher or friends who forget or otherwise mess up the spelling.

Think about any potential playground nicknames. Kids will be kids, and chances are, if you can think up a mean-spirited nickname, so can they. This doesn't mean you need to avoid a favorite name just because it's easily turned into a childhood taunt; just be prepared for your child to have a few years, or a lifetime, of potential misery.
Really consider whether or not that character or celebrity inspiration is a good idea. Everyone has a favorite character from a book, movie, or TV show, but that doesn't necessarily mean it should serve as the inspiration behind your baby's name, especially if it's a unique name. Yes, Daenerys Targaryen is a badass, strong, and independent leader who don't need no man, but 10 years from now, are you going to have the same attachment to your little Daenerys as you did in 2017? If you're at all hesitant to answer that question, move on.
The family name you like should come from a worthy individual. My grandfather, whom I never met, had a name that I loved. I considered for a hot second naming my son the name of his great-grandfather until my dad reminded me that he, to put it mildly, wasn't a very nice guy. Naming a child after someone should be done to honor that individual, not just because you like the name. Your kid deserves better.

Consider how the name will look on a résumé. Someday, years down the line and long after you've forgotten what sleep deprivation from a newborn is like, your little bundle of joy will be completing applications for employment. One of the names I love, Dot, was a serious contender if we had had a girl. However, I was always worried about Dot being too juvenile and unable to command the respect that she would have deserved. Names can be as cutesy as you like, but when your baby is all grown up, they need a name that's befitting of an adult.
It doesn't matter if it's popular — if you like it, go for it. Having grown up in the days of having a class with six Ashleys and just as many Sarahs, I get the desire to want to name your child something special. Yet, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if your child's name is the most popular or some obscure pick. You have to like it, and if it's your favorite, go for it, regardless of whether there is a good chance their future best friend will also share the same name.