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Aliza Kelly on Why "There Are No Coincidences"

Coincidence? Astrologer Aliza Kelly Doesn't Think So

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"There Are No Coincidences" By Aliza Kelly

For as long as she can remember, Aliza Kelly has had a vision. Not about the future, but a very specific place: "I have this relentless dream that one day I'm going to walk into an old mansion and find the hidden laboratory and stumble upon all of these books with alchemical recipes in them and magic spells and potions," she tells POPSUGAR. "This has been going on for decades, and it won't stop. So I realized I had to make it myself."

And so she did. Kelly — otherwise known as "your witchy bestie," dating app Bumble's resident astrologer, and "the Morticia Addams of NYC" — just published her fourth book and accompanying manifestation deck titled "There Are No Coincidences" ($30). The end result, with its "old textbook" feel and a sort of "encyclopedia quality," is just the aesthetic Kelly imagined.

"There Are No Coincidences" offers a new way to look at the fated, kismet, meant-to-be moments in your life — plus, how to find the meaning inside your normal or mundane moments. In the 44-card manifestation deck and guidebook, Kelly brings awareness to the various daily encounters and experiences that hold hidden universal meanings. She also teaches you how to interpret them with regard to your own life. The deck is a tool for manifestation, self-reflection, and mindfulness in a similar way as tarot, astrology, or a self-help book can.

I think moving through the world with that heightened sense, really embracing the sensitivities rather than suppressing them, and celebrating returning to a more youthful state where you're appreciating being alive, changes your perspective on reality.

TANC isn't just the title of the book or easy acronym, though — it's also a word on its own. "You could almost say it instead of 'jinx' when you say something at the same time," she explains. "It becomes a TANC moment." In Kelly's mind, these destined moments are, in fact, signs you should tune in to and which can help guide you through a more intentional and fruitful life.

It may sound like a stretch, but it becomes all the more impactful when you consider examples from IRL. After chatting with Kelly, I thought back to my own TANC moment: I hit it off with someone on a New York City bus, but we neglected to swap phone numbers (or even full names) and went separate ways. Months later, we bumped into each other in what turned out to be our mutual apartment building and became fast, lifelong friends. We coincidentally were both going through breakups at that exact moment, bonded over that fact, and became each other's main support system and veritable significant other. We were exactly what each other needed at that moment. I've long considered it a rom-com-worthy meet cute, but now I know better: it's TANC.

Whether you've lost something only to find it in a meaningful place later, bumped into your ex on the subway at the worst/best moment, or been served an all-too-relevant Instagram ad (oh wait, that one might just be the algorithm), you've probably experienced a TANC moment too. Allow my chat with Kelly, below, to convince you to start paying attention.

POPSUGAR: What brought you to this idea of "there are no coincidences"?

Aliza Kelly: When you work as an astrologer or a metaphysical practitioner — or, honestly, I would imagine that in any profession, when you're interacting with clients or patients, you'll start to notice that there are patterns among people. This is especially notable for astrologers because we're experts at pattern recognition. Years ago, I would have these experiences where every client that I would speak to on a certain day would have a Leo rising and issues with their brother. Or, I would speak to all people who had lost a parent and also had the sun in their eighth house. There were just these really strong and prominent patterns that would emerge in the work I was doing. Then, in 2019, I started a virtual community called the Constellation Club. All these people were talking and connecting, and they were noticing the patterns, too. Then I was like, "OK, this isn't just in my own imagination. This is something. There's really this incredible synchronicity happening." As a way of capturing this, I started using the expression "there are no coincidences," or "TANC" for short. Since then, it's become almost like a philosophy. It's a way of recognizing the connectivity of all experiences.

PS: Are there any stories or examples of synchronicities from your own life or from a client's life that you can share that you feel perfectly exemplify TANC and this philosophy? And, by the way, what are synchronicities?

AK: I would describe a synchronicity as something that aligns seemingly unexpectedly. And they can be really small or really large — something as trivial as a typo that seems to capture the message of what you were trying to say or a Freudian slip, to these really powerful encounters and dates lining up and these chance experiences that feel like they are just totally serendipitous but are actually things that you really needed to get where you needed to go. A recent one that comes to mind (granted, it might be a bit astrology-heavy) is that a friend of mine has been waiting for this really big project to come out, and it kept getting pushed back. She was really disappointed that it kept getting delayed. But when we looked at the new date, which is now the final release date for the project, it's exactly the day she's having her Jupiter return, which only happens every 12 years. Jupiter is the planet of luck and abundance, and it's very auspicious. So the new date syncing up with her Jupiter return is really TANC. It suggests that this was exactly the right time in order for her to really reap the benefits and the rewards of this project.

PS: What do you think are the benefits of noticing and tapping into these synchronicities that pop up in your life?

AK: Tuning into these things can help you maintain presence and awareness of the chance magical, mystical experiences that we're all gifted in our consciousness. It's one of the most amazing ways to stay grounded, find gratitude, decompress, and also look at the larger picture. It's so easy to get tunnel vision on the things that really stress us out and when we get extremely overwhelmed, to disassociate and check out for an entire day. Both of those things are survival skills; they're coping mechanisms. But they also take us out of the appreciation and recognition for our own gifts that we all have and possess. I think the greater mission of this is to aid people's ability to connect with their truth. I believe that when we tap into our truth, we have the ability to manifest. I think that the things we manifest are only just extensions of our existing truth. So it's easier to do that and to build the life that you want when you know who you are.

PS: For example, if someone wants to manifest their perfect partner, it's less about plucking this partner out of their future and more about tuning into the things that have led them up to this point in their life and then maybe the things that will take them to that partner — do I have that right?

AK: Exactly. Also, instead of putting so much emphasis on the partner, we're going to prioritize who we are, and we're going to strengthen our knowledge of ourselves: these are my positive attributes. This is what makes me special and magical. These are the things that I want to be able to bring into a relationship. Not making yourself smaller, suppressing yourself, or limiting yourself, but giving yourself permission to be exactly who you are. And in doing that, you are going to attract the perfect partner because you're being the most embodied version of yourself.

PS: So this mantra of "there are no coincidences" is a tool for self-growth. What else can people learn from noticing these serendipitous moments?

AK: In the spirit of "there are no coincidences," I believe that we're actively building our reality through our consciousness. I think that we, as humans, are constantly trying to prove ourselves right. If we continue to say something negative to ourselves in the mirror every time we see ourselves, we're going to see that manifest and play out in our life, regardless of whether it's true or not. We're going to use that as the reason that we're unlovable or we can't get a job that we want or whatever it is. We're constantly trying to prove a narrative. And because there are breaks in those patterns, you don't have to continue to abide by something that you started saying to yourself when you were 12 or 13 years old. You can expand your consciousness, and you can expand the scope of what you are experiencing in your reality.

I believe the beauty in the mundane and the little things are actually so important and so significant. Like a gust of wind when you're really needing some big change to come through — you can say that's a coincidence, but it also doesn't have to be. That could also be a catalyst. It could be a message. It could be proof of what you're experiencing. I think moving through the world with that heightened sense, really embracing the sensitivities rather than suppressing them, and celebrating returning to a more youthful state where you're appreciating being alive changes your perspective on reality. It helps you have more agency. It helps you feel more empowered.

PS: So it's partially about finding curiosity again. Many people have heard the word mindfulness by now and think most people equate it with meditation. But really, what you're talking about — noticing small things that we just blow past — really is the most basic form of mindfulness.

AK: Yes. Absolutely. And I love the word curiosity, too, because I do think that approaching things with compassionate curiosity, of just asking, "What does this mean? Why did I notice it? What value does this have? What could this symbolize to me?" is an incredible way of establishing a relationship between yourself and the world around you.

PS: How would someone use this new book and deck to do that?

AK: There are really limitless ways to use it. I wanted to create a choose-your-own-adventure kind of experience. At large, this deck is to help bring awareness, presence, and consciousness into your life. You can pull a card for: what do I need to look out for today? Or what should I know about taking a risk in my career? Or how should I approach going into this situation? And each card you pull has a symbol, keywords associated with it, and things you might interact with while moving through your day. Maybe you pull the flowers card and have a unique connection to what that means for you, or you pull the insect card, and you're someone who sees butterflies all the time. No matter what, you're going to have your own personal association with each symbol. It's up to you to interpret: what does that signify in my life? But, of course, everything is always just an invitation.

Image Sources: Illustration: Aly Lim and Image Source: Courtesy of Abrams Books and Aliza Kelly
"There Are No Coincidences" By Aliza Kelly
"There Are No Coincidences" By Aliza Kelly
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