I Tried a Cleanse After a Half-Marathon So You Never, Ever Have To

My most recent half-marathon was at Disneyland, so needless to say, I ate my bodyweight in grams of sugar. Lightsaber churros? Of course (anything for the 'gram!). Beauty and the Beast cakes topped with mousse? Absolutely. Pineapple cotton candy? How could I not?!

I also didn't hold back from my post-race Disneyland brunch of bananas foster French toast and chocolate milk, so by the time I was heading home and back to real life, my gut felt like it was filled with cement. "Perfect time to cleanse!" I thought to myself. Wrong. That is incorrect.

I eagerly accepted an offer to try a three-day meal plan, which to be honest, was a beautiful set of food. Blue magic cashew milks, pineapple turmeric shots, delicious veggie pho, and hearty veggie salads . . . it was great. And even though I really, really don't like green juice, I was ready for a cold and refreshing bottle of green goodness to help my body feel healthy again. So I went into this a bit unawares and very excited.

Well . . . mostly excited

After setting aside my day of meals for day one, I realized that I might need some more calories — especially protein! According to this cleanse's guidelines, you're allowed to add in pastured eggs and pastured chicken, so I figured with my first green juice, I'd make myself two eggs. "Off to a great start!" my optimistic brain continued.

The food was great, but not filling enough for me; I was feeling famished. I added in some plain, air-popped popcorn as an afternoon snack. I got home, made the veggie pho, and still didn't feel great, so I added half a chicken thigh. I continued to tell myself that the intense hunger was normal, and I just needed to have some self-control. "People go on cleanses all the time! This is fine! You're fine. Everything's fine."

The next morning, I met with my personal trainer (Liz Letchford, MS, ATC) for our weekly session, and she was, eh . . . not pleased with me. You know when your parents are like, "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed?" It was like that. For the second day, I again added an egg to my breakfast juice, but Liz recommended even more food — specifically some oatmeal, so I listened and ate some of that, and yet still, I felt totally famished by the end of the day.

By day three, I was actually nauseous. You know when you get "mouth sweats" — runny saliva and chills that indicate you're about to barf? That was me . . . in the POPSUGAR office. Halfway through my salad, my co-worker looked over at me and said, "God you look terrible," and I knew I needed to evacuate the premises immediately before things got awkward. I won't get into it because I don't know you or your tolerance for graphic details, but what I can say is, thank God I made it home shortly thereafter.

I asked Liz what the deal was with postrace nutrition, and she had this to say: "Your body had just worked hard to complete those 13 miles, so it needed nutrition to rebuild damage muscles, replace stored muscle glycogen, and recover neurologically from the race. Without adequate calories, you risk overtraining syndrome and muscle breakdown — the last thing you want when training." Essentially, I was doing the nutritional equivalent of skipping many, many rest days.

Not only that, but my body had likely used up most of the sugar and carbohydrates I inhaled enjoyed the day before, so I didn't need to cleanse, and when my digestive tract received things like dandelion greens and excess probiotics, it did the digestive-system version of slapping me in the face.

So there you have it — it's probably OK to cleanse away on a normal week, when you haven't completed an endurance event, and only when you really, really need a caloric reset. And if you're going to do a cleanse, the one I did actually offered delicious food! But if you're doing a half-marathon or race anytime soon, please — for everyone's sake — please don't do a cleanse afterward. PSA over.