Dear Middle Part,
By now, you probably know how much I love you, and that I would never leave you. Sure, I might flip my hair to one side while it's air-drying to give my roots a little volume, but in the end, I always come back to you. We're a match made under the stars, middle part. We go together like peanut butter and jelly, like sushi and wasabi, like shoes and socks.
The first time I saw you, you were on Jonathon Taylor Thomas's head on the show "Home Improvement." I immediately knew two things: I was going to marry JTT, and I needed a middle part. At the time, I was the not-so-happy owner of bangs, so I knew it would be a few years until I could wear you proudly. In the meantime I saw you in all of my celebrity crushes: Rider Strong (Shawn from "Boy Meets World"), Erik Von Detten (Andy from "Brink"), and all three of the Hanson brothers (MMMbop, indeed).
By now, it's become clear that although I will never marry Jonathon Taylor Thomas, I am married to my middle part, and we'll be together no matter what happens. When the Gen-Z versus Millenial middle part vs side part debate came up on TikTok last year, although I'm a Millennial, of course, I stood by your side. Without you, there would be no slicked-back buns, no perfectly placed money-piece highlights, and honestly, no fun. To this day, all of my favorite celebrities wear middle parts: Kim Kardashian, Hailey Bieber, and Jennifer Anniston have all found love with you, just like I did.
From the day my bangs grew out and I could part my hair down the middle, I never looked back. You've been with me for a long time, and although we spent some years apart, nothing can truly sever our bond. You give my hair volume, you make my face more symmetrical, and overall, you make me infinitely more attractive. The plain truth of it is: you make me a better person.
Of course, there were a few years when our relationship was a little rocky. I was heavily under the influence of LC from "Laguna Beach," and I found myself not only rocking a side part, but also a series of thick headbands and side-swept bangs. Clearly, I was confused. Confused about life, confused about my future. Middle part, you knew that if you gave me space that I would come back to you — and come back I did.
Although I know I have to share you with so many people — famous and otherwise — that's a fact I am willing to accept. Because if you can make me, a girl with a larger-than-average forehead and cowlicks, feel confident and beautiful, you can do anything.