Beyond Hippo Patch
The woman in the store I was shopping in told me this Beyond Hippo Patch ($14) was supposed to reduce cellulite, and since I had never seen anything like it, I bought it. I was pretty skeptical to begin with, but the packet was so cute that I was intrigued. On the package, there’s an illustration of a sad chubby hippo and then some Korean writing followed by a happy svelte hippo. I figured if I could achieve what this hippo had, I’d be impressed.
I opened it up to find an incredibly small mask that smelled vaguely like eucalyptus. I applied it to my stomach and noticed that the company was thoughtful enough to include a hole for your belly button. Since the directions said to leave it on for eight to nine hours, I went to bed. After lying in bed for about 20 minutes, the tingly sensation started to really bother me, and I ripped it off. It felt like an Icy Hot patch, and I really couldn’t stand it. I didn’t think I’d achieve the same results as the hippo anyway, so I accepted my defeat.