"Once I started dating women when I graduated, I was really afraid to do the things I've always wanted to do," Hudson said. "A lot of that could be internalized homophobia and living in that homophobic culture where, in a lot of conservative places, this sense of 'you can be gay, but you should still adhere to the norms of your gender presentation.'"
She continued, "But hair felt like this symbol to me, and there was something about cutting my hair short that felt like it would be this outward representation of the transformation and change that I was feeling inside of myself. Not only can that be a more masculine presentation, but it's also an actual shedding of part of you that actually holds the past too."
The First (Hair)cut Is the Deepest — and Only the Beginning
"Hair felt like this symbol to me, and there was something about cutting my hair short that felt like it would be this outward representation of the transformation and change that I was feeling inside of myself."
For her first-ever chop, she gathered the troops — which at the time included her then-girlfriend and best friend — and went in to the salon with the intention of getting a short boyish haircut. "I went to a lesbian-identifying hairstylist, and I remember right as she was about to cut my hair saying, 'Maybe don't cut it so short.' Even though I knew what I wanted, I was too afraid to go against this expectation of playing out that gender role, so I ended up with kind of a weird haircut that was in between long and short. It didn't totally fulfill what I wanted, but it was my first step, and it was a transformative one."