The 16 Different Types of Readers

In their weaker moments, they'll admit that they're pretty sure Harry Potter is real and that they maybe consider him one of their BFFs. They'll ask "Is that weird?" before laughing it off like it was all a joke. (It wasn't.)

They ask for reading recommendations from anyone and everyone, but they are never, ever satisfied. Even when a book becomes outrageously popular, they're pretty sure they'll hate it — and they're usually right. No book will ever hold a candle to [insert some old favorite here], which they're forever bringing up as the end-all, be-all book.

Someone said there would be snacks, and if they'd known that was a lie, they never, ever would've joined a book club. No, they didn't read the book, and no, they're not even going to pretend. But, ugh, fine, they'll go back. Again and again they'll go back, because they just feel way too bad about saying no.

They have long, long lists of books on their phone, in their journal, on their Pinterest boards, and on Goodreads, because they just can't resist a good reading checklist. No human has the time to actually read all those books, but that doesn't stop them from bookmarking any and every recommendation.

Like, what year is it? They are so, so sick of the "real book" snobs who insist on avoiding technology. No, they don't care about the smell of paper, and they really don't care about bookstores. Why leave the house, make a trip, and wait in line, only to realize that a book may not even be in stock, when you can literally press a download button?

What's the point of reading beautiful words when you can't share them with anyone and everyone around you? They're constantly saying, "Wait, you have to hear this line," and by the time they've finished a book, you feel as if you've read it too.

Nothing thrills them quite like hours upon hours of free time, because that's the only way they like to read — in marathon fashion, all at once. They pride themselves on finishing a book in one or two sittings, and they are absolutely baffled by people who can start and stop, let alone read multiple books at a time.

Whenever they love a book, they can't help but force everyone else to read it too — and they love a lot of books. They basically consider their bookshelves a library, and they are constantly trying to keep track of all the books they've lent out. "Have you read such and such? No? You have to! Kelly has my copy, and Erin's next in line for it, but after that, I'm giving it to you because it's everything. Promise."

They're the cougar of books, reading only titles meant for teens and tweens, but they make absolutely no apologies for it. Age is not an issue for them, and they have no problem saying their favorite books are Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, and Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, thankyouverymuch.

Most people get excited about vacation because it's, you know, vacation, but this person has one and only reason for loving a good getaway — books! They're pretty sure stories are more interesting when they're read on public transportation or near a body of water, and they love nothing more than the double whammy of getting away on a trip and getting lost in a story, as if they're twice removed from real life.

They're regularly dropping titles and author names, and judging by all those book pictures on their Instagram feed, it looks like they're quite the dedicated reader . . . But if you ask any follow-up questions, they're suspiciously quick to change the subject.

They love nothing more than a good cry — except maybe a book that makes them cry. They want all the feelings, all the time, and they read The Fault in Ours Stars so many times that they're borderline embarrassed.

A romance-novel club, a children's-book club, a Harry Potter rereading club — there isn't a book club they aren't a part of, much less one they haven't tried to start. No matter how small the turnout or how much everyone else is there for the wine and cheese, they are so, so excited by any and every book-club meeting.

If there isn't a film adaptation coming out, then sorry, but that book is going to have to wait. Their reading list is full of books that will soon become movies, and they find nothing more stressful than an approaching release date when they haven't cracked the binding yet.

Source: Cinetic Media

Fantasy is fake, and fiction is fake, and why would they waste their time on something that isn't even true? They're all about biographies, memoirs, and the occasional collection of essays. And, fine, they'll splurge for historical fiction every once in a while, but that's basically nonfiction, right?

There is nothing — seriously, not one thing — they'd rather do than read. They'll fake sick, lie, and do whatever it takes to prioritize the book sitting on their nightstand above all else. And honestly, they really, really don't feel bad about it. #sorrynotsorry