The following post was written in 2014 by Becky Thompson at Scissortail SILK, her blog that speaks on hope, healing, and faith for women. Becky lives in NW Oklahoma with her husband, their three young children, and whatever critters wander in from the wheat field behind their house. Look for her first book scheduled for release this Spring. Here, she writes about disappointment when trying to conceive.
Last year, I wrote this article — and it spread like wildfire. I heard from people all across the globe who agreed, and others who used some pretty strong language to tell me how much they disagreed. But out of all of it, I noticed one thing. It started a discussion. And sometimes? All it takes for change and hope and forward thinking to take place is for one person to say, "Sure lots of people do it, but that doesn't make it right."
And that is why with April 1st here, I feel it necessary to speak about this once again.
We have all seen them — a happy couple posing with a picture of a sonogram or a pair of little shoes, a smiling woman holding her tummy, a shock of disbelief on a man's face gripping a pregnancy test. They are pictures that lead us to believe that there is a baby on the way. We have also seen the status updates on social media. "I'm expecting!" We are to assume that someone we know is pregnant. Only around April 1st, it's not often true. Once we read the comments, we discover that what is expected is actually a tax return, or a great day, or something other than a baby.
And all of these are done for the sake of a few laughs and a great April Fool's Day prank.
But here's the deal. I'm asking you not to, and beyond that, I'm asking you to ask your friends not to either. Because the truth is, we all have friends who are suffering silently.
It's true. We all have friends who would love to have a baby, and month after month, they find themselves still waiting… still hoping. It is what they think about constantly. It is what they hope for endlessly. And deep down, they face the often relentless fear that they might not ever naturally have a child of their own.
See, after sharing a little of our own struggle to maintain a healthy pregnancy, I have learned that those who face infertility rarely discuss it openly in casual conversation. There will be plenty of status updates about babies and toddlers and children. Moms to be will discuss pregnancy cravings and appointments and ailments. It's easy to see the journey of those who are currently or soon will be parents.
But those who wait? Those who have gone for months or years hoping for a baby of their own? Well, let's be honest. You likely have no idea.
After all, you won't see many status updates that say something along the lines of, "Still not pregnant. #whenwillitbemyturn" …because for many, the journey to pregnancy it is a deeply emotional process. It's not something that comes up in everyday discussions. And yet, with each photo of a happy couple who is expecting, those who struggle will fear that they might not ever know that joy.
So, my request is simple. Let's not make a joke of it this year… or ever. Not because I'm trying to censor you. Not because I'm trying to steal away your fun. But because I want to remind you that there are people that you know… people that you care about… people that you love, who you might be hurting with a simple prank without ever realizing it.
I'm asking you to not make a joke of it for their sake. I'm asking you to spread on this message… for them.
So, yes. I do understand that there are many who do struggle with infertility who would not be bothered by this joke. There are many who are walking out this road who are full of hope and joy and laughter, and they might say, "Don't let my story, stop your fun." But I'm asking on behalf of those who aren't in that place. I'm asking on behalf of those that you love, who might be fighting daily for hope… who might be hanging onto hope by a thread.
Let's decide together that this April Fool's Day will be different, and maybe together? We will start a discussion about why we want it to be…