How Parenting Isn't Different Than Puppy Training
Let's All Be Honest: Raising a Baby Isn't That Different From Puppy Training
Around the time one of my friends had a baby, I adopted a puppy. Whenever I'd check in with her on how things were going, she'd tell me about sleepless nights, messy diaper changes, and constant feeding sessions. Man, I could relate. "It's like how with my dog . . . " She stopped me right there. "It's not the same thing."
"You can leave your dog at home alone." I can? Last time I did that, I had to throw out three bras, two decorative pillows, and a nice pair of heels.
"You can't put your kid on a leash." Oh, really? Then why do they sell these?
"Well, babies grow up." Sure, but when they do, they'll benefit from the same disciplinary tactics we learned in our dog's obedience school. (Making your pet face a wall, preferably a corner, when it's overstimulated sounds a lot like "time-out" to me.)
Alright, alright. Of course I know it's not the same thing. But if you'd just hear me out, there are a lot of similarities that both moms of baby humans and moms of baby dogs can relate to. And isn't it better to focus not on what makes us different but what brings us together?
Babies pee everywhere.
Puppies also pee everywhere.
Babies are hungry all the time.
Puppies are also hungry all the time.
Babies are really into their toys.
Puppies are also really into their toys.
You can carry a baby, no problem.
You can also carry a puppy.
Babies sleep a lot.
Puppies also sleep a lot.
Babies will freak out without warning.
Puppies will also freak out without warning.
Try as you might, you can't really communicate with babies.
Same goes for puppies.
Babies don't need to bathe that often. Which is good, because they usually hate it.
Puppies also don't need to bathe that often. Which is also good, because they definitely hate it.
Clipping baby fingernails is a terrifying task.
Clipping puppy fingernails is just as terrible.
Babies require several trips to the doctor. And several upsetting shots.
Puppies also require several trips to the doctor. And several equally upsetting shots.
You often put baby girls in pink so they don't get confused for boys.
Girl puppies require the same accessorizing.
Babies chew their own feet.
Puppies also chew their own feet.
Babies are so cute you can't stand it.
And so are puppies.
