Want to really piss off Jessica Biel? Go to her house and awaken her sleeping toddler.
"God forbid [Silas] wakes up in the middle of the night . . . you know, if you wake my kid up in the middle of the night by accident, you're dead to me," she said during her recent appearance on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. "If you come in my house, and you do some crazy thing, and you make too much noise, you turn on the music, you're out."
Although her son's sleep is a major issue in her and husband Justin Timberlake's home, she's also dealing with a few other incredibly relatable things — namely how "every square inch" is covered in kid stuff.
"If it's not the hopeful chocolate, it's stickers and Play-Doh and Gak and crumbs and who knows," she said. "Everything is covered with everything."
When Jessica started lamenting the "terrible twos," Stephen could tell this was her first child. As he said, "If you say 'terrible twos,' it means you've never had a 3-year-old."
Jessica confirmed that she's heard as much. "The 3-year-olds are called three-teens because they're so insane," she told Colbert. "They're just like having tiny teenagers, which is way worse than having big teenagers."
Oh, Jessica. Get some sleep — you'll need it.