Mom's Fourth Trimester Photo
How 1 Mom's Postpartum Depression Diagnosis Inspired Her to Share a Photo in Mesh Undies
Olivia Murray, a mom and blogger from Vancouver, Canada, knows that the childbirth process is far from glamorous. And while there's often pressure for mothers to appear perfect on social media, she's taking the time to reassure women that they should be proud of their bodies — and minds! — while wearing her hospital-issued mesh undies.
"THE 4th TRIMESTER. This photo wasn't 'for the gram,'" wrote Olivia in the photo's caption. "It was for showing the little humans I brought into this world, one day down the road. Because although I don't like the term 'real women' or 'real bodies,' it's important to me that (both) my children know what women really look like, what bodies really do."
For Olivia, it's important that her children get a good, hard look at women who are in different places in their lives, and who are experiencing postpartum differently.
"I stopped feeling hungry, being happy, getting ANY rest, wanting to do things, believing I was a good mother, or getting any work done in the last couple weeks."
"This week, I was diagnosed with mild-moderate postpartum depression," said Olivia. "Knowing numerous women who have experienced this, I knew the signs and was open to the chances (although you kind of always think 'not me', though). It's not going to become a dark, gloomy place here . . . But I stopped feeling hungry, being happy, getting ANY rest, wanting to do things, believing I was a good mother, or getting any work done in the last couple weeks. I feel as though we have a duty to be honest about some things in this space, in order to not misconstrue how real life unfolds."
She explained that postpartum depression is far more common than women think. So rather than hiding her diagnosis, she opted to be more open about it.
"A lot of people come out after the storm, and share that they were in the trenches and faking happy, perfect, fine, all along," she wrote. "But I think it could be beneficial if we chose vulnerability more often and admitted we aren't doing 100 percent in every moment sometimes . . . in case there's anyone on the other side of this screen that needs the push to admit they're not feeling well, or get help. Or even for those who HAVE and just need to know that other people are going through sh*t, look like sh*t, and feel like sh*t, too."
At the end of the day, Olivia simply wants her children to learn that women can have different postpartum journeys, which affects them throughout their lives. "[My kids will] know what society likes the woman to look like, but also what a pregnant and breastfeeding and woman who are postpartum look like, the woman who is happy and healthy and thriving, but also the woman who's struggling and tired and trying."