After carrying a baby girl for six months, expecting mother Jessica McCoy suffered a miscarriage. Now, she's opening up about why she's not ready to accept her postpartum body after experiencing such a heartbreaking loss.
On Instagram, Jessica shared a picture of herself standing in the mirror. In her caption, she divulged her complex feelings about her body since losing her daughter. She wrote, "I am 20 lbs heavier and two sizes bigger than I was pre-pregnancy. And I am not okay with my body. I think I would've been okay if Evie was here, although she would've likely still been cooking inside me."
Jessica then noted how she was able to accept and embrace her postpartum body after giving birth to her son, Brennan. She explained how she felt proud of her body because it was able to nurture her "beautiful little man."
Her miscarriage, however, has understandably brought forth entirely different emotions. "Every day I get clothes on and they're tight. And every day I'm reminded that I grew my baby for six months and she died. It really is a constant reminder to me," Jessica wrote. Adding, "I can't be body positive right now. It's too hard and it hurts too much."
Jessica ended her honest post by looking towards the future. Although she said her hormones have made it difficult to lose weight, she plans on working with a personal trainer in the hopes that it will help her both physically and emotionally.