Mom's Post About Baby Being Viable
Why 1 Mom Refuses to Celebrate That Her Baby Is Now "Viable"
Shayna Neighbors knows better than anyone else that things aren't always as they seem during pregnancy. Just because they say that your baby is "viable" once you hit a certain milestone doesn't mean that you get to keep your baby after making it to 24 weeks. Nothing is guaranteed.
"It doesn't promise you a future. It doesn't promise no pain. It isn't a line in the sand for survival. It's not always what it seems," she wrote on Instagram.
Shayna is a mom of four with another on the way, but answering the question of how many children she has isn't that simple. After giving birth to her son Jameson, Shayna found out that she was pregnant with twin boys. However, even though her boys Anderson and Grayson were born at the cusp of "viability," neither of her preemies survived. "I said goodbye to two of my sweet children and kissed their lifeless faces over and over and over. I stared at every inch of them, trying to burn them into my memory," she wrote in a post on Made New By Grace. "I can easily close my eyes and be right back there watching Phillip hold Anderson as he took his last breath. I can still see my nurse's face and the mascara flowing as she was doing CPR on Grayson."
Although she had a different outcome after getting pregnant with her rainbow baby, AndiGrace, Shayna still found herself having a similar conversation with doctors. "Mrs. Neighbors, you are close to 24 weeks so if we need to take them, we will try. We have alerted the NICU to be prepared for micro-preemie twins," she was told at 23 and a half weeks pregnant with the boys. "Now, Mrs. Neighbors, you are not 24 weeks yet so technically she is not viable but do you want us to try and resuscitate?" she was asked before delivering her now-thriving toddler.
Since then, Shayna has read all of the statistics and met with moms who have experienced the joy of 22-week survivors as well as those who are coping with full-term losses. She has also learned not to believe everything she's been told, both the good and the bad. "I was told Anderson wouldn't make it through the night on more than one occasion," she wrote. "I was told the DAY Grayson died, just hours before that he was exceeding all the expectations of a micro preemie. 'Thriving' was even a term used."
Now that Shayna is officially 24 weeks pregnant with her fifth baby, she refuses to get excited over this "milestone" and wants everyone to understand exactly way. "I've celebrated this child since the stick told me I was carrying life," she wrote. "We call this baby by name in our house. Jameson hugs this tummy and says, 'I can't wait to snuggle you.'"
As thrilled as they are to meet the new baby, Shayna doesn't like the term "viable" because it doesn't honor her twin boys' purpose during their short lives. "It doesn't speak to the fight they had in them. It doesn't describe the massive amount of love despite their ability to survive," she wrote. "So in this house and in my heart, we celebrate each kick. We celebrate the hope of bringing this baby home. We celebrate the joy we have."
After everything they've learned, this family plans on continuing to rejoice in each and every day of this pregnancy instead of taking anything for granted — and she isn't the only one who feels that way. "I don't like the term 'viable' at all," an Instagram user commented on her post. "It sounds like a shallow promise and a blind faith that 'everything is okay now' when in reality all we have is each moment, day, and kick we are given."
