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Mom Reflects on the End of Breastfeeding Journey

Mom's Note About Breastfeeding Shows Just How Bittersweet the End Can Be

[THE END?] Here is our very 1st breastfeeding photo... I'm not too sure just yet and indeed tonight & the next couple of days will reveal but our beautiful 17 month journey of #breastfeeding may finally be coming to a close. I departed for Melbourne knowing that potentially that overnight feed together last Thursday may very well have been our last. I savoured every moment; I took in every detail, I dropped a couple of happy tears and he honestly looked at me like 'job well done mummy'. Motherhood does like to surprise us sometimes so I continued to express whilst away, just in case ✨ ... When I arrived home the joy of being reunited with my growing little boy was indescribable. It was like the 4 nights away was as if somehow 4 weeks had passed because he seemed so grown up! While we embraced, kissed and cuddled he nestled in my chest - as he always does. He said 'boobie' like he normally does but not in the way that he normally requests it... He just smiled & placed his wandering hands down my shirt (as if to check that they were still there haha) and then he went about playing and doing his usual business... Is this the end? I'm not sure.... Am I sad, holy shit yes, I'm dropping tears as I write this. Am I proud & excited for us all the same, goodness am I ever! Maybe we have closed this chapter & we are beginning to embark on the next, I'm not too sure just yet that is for my baby to decide ... my heart is so full whilst at the same time it aches because I may never have this time with him again, it's beautiful but it's scary. It sure has made me reflect on the past 17mths, for us it has been the most gratifying experience, one that I could never choose the right words to say. To say that both Madden & I have been infatuated with our BF journey together would be the understatement of the century 💕 ... I'm currently by his cot & I've just sssssh'd him back to sleep and did so without the 'boobie'........OK ITS TIME: Time for this proud Mumma of a growing lil boy to have a proper cry ❤️❤️❤️ . . ______________________________________________________ #breastfeeding #fedisbest #breast #normalisebreastfeeding #wefeedunited #stronglikeamum #mumsofinstagram #moments

A post shared by Nadine Muller >👻 _nadinemuller (@_nadinemuller) on

Nadine Muller is an Australian fitness blogger, but over the last 17 months, her sculpted gym selfies have been adorably juxtaposed with photos of her son, Madden. Since giving birth, she has filled her feed with honest photos about the realities of nursing and motherhood. Now, as her breastfeeding journey is coming to an end, Nadine is reflecting on the nursing relationship and how she and Madden "get to bond" in their favorite way.

Nadine took to Instagram to post a photo from the very first time she fed her son with a powerful message about the end of breastfeeding. "I savored every moment; I took in every detail, I dropped a couple of happy tears and he honestly looked at me like 'job well done Mummy,'" Nadine wrote, adding that she was incredibly sad about the closing of this chapter. "My heart is so full while at the same time it aches because I may never have this time with him again; it's beautiful, but it's scary."

She recently returned home after being away for four days, and those days away were when she realized how much she was going to miss this stage of motherhood. "For us it has been the most gratifying experience, one that I could never choose the right words to say," she wrote. "To say that both Madden and I have been infatuated with our BF journey together would be the understatement of the century."

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But she didn't stop there. Nadine continued to talk about the indescribable bond between mother and child during nursing and how she really didn't think she would feel this way about the end. "To be completely honest and to put it into perspective, it's not like I'm some frequent crier," she wrote alongside a second photo. "I surprisingly didn't cry the day Madden was born, I didn't cry during any of his needles, I didn't cry the four nights I was away from him, BUT as soon as I thought our BF journey was over I cried like a little baby."

[THE END; PART II] If you read my post about our breastfeeding journey coming to an end u will know that I have been 1 very emotional Mumma. I never thought this would affect me the way it has. To be completely honest & to put it into perspective, it's not like I'm some frequent cryer. I surprisingly didn't cry the day Madden was born, I didn't cry during any of his needles, I didn't cry the 4 nights I was away from him, BUT as soon as I thought our BF journey was over I cried like a little baby. It actually crossed my mind if I was pregnant with No. 2 coz the emotions were that epic but alas we aren't 🤣 Anywho back to my story 💁🏽 ... The other night during the early hours of the morning the little man awoke & was completely beside himself. He was unable to be soothed, not by a bottle, not by cuddles, not by anything. I brought him into bed with us & we did what felt right - yep, he latched on. Just like that, his worries were completely over, it was an instant soothe just like it has always been, his racing heart slowed down, his breathing settled, his teeny body relaxed up against mine skin on skin, he was in heaven, & let's be bloody honest so was I. Talk about an emotional ride, I cried again some more, but this time silent tears of pure elation & joy as I beautifully watched my son be soothed back to sleep by me and my breast ❤️ ... Right now, I'm continuing to give my toddler the choice to wean when he is ready, for it is clear we are both not ready; not just yet anyway. Which brings me to ask (despite us not feeling directly pressured) why r there social pressures to wean anyway? He's 17 months but who says when any1 needs to stop? That choice resides with us & us alone. It has been an emotional past few days, & whilst our journey isn't over right now, the end feels like it may still be near. I'm overjoyed that we get to bond in our fav way that bit longer, each feed I cherish even more coz I never know when it will be our last - for good 💕 ... Thanx to all the beautiful women whom have DM'd to offer this Mumma support & whom have shared baby-led weaning stories with me. It means a lot & I'm forever grateful for all of your support 💕

A post shared by Nadine Muller >👻 _nadinemuller (@_nadinemuller) on

Although some babies struggle latching, Madden has always found solace in his mom's breast. During a very early morning screaming fit, Madden latched to Nadine and instantly, everything was better. "Just like that, his worries were completely over," she described. "It was an instant soothe just like it has always been, his racing heart slowed down, his breathing settled, his teeny body relaxed up against mine skin on skin, he was in heaven, and let's be bloody honest, so was I. Talk about an emotional ride, I cried again some more, but this time silent tears of pure elation and joy as I beautifully watched my son be soothed back to sleep by me and my breast."

Nadine closed her emotional note telling her readers that she is giving Madden the choice to try to wean away from nursing on his own because they are both not ready yet. "I'm overjoyed that we get to bond in our favorite way that bit longer," she concluded. "Each feed I cherish even more because I never know when it will be our last."

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