Eliza Morrill, a mom with four little ones running around, acknowledges that while setting goals is important, sometimes knowing your limits takes precedent. So when it came time to discuss New Year's resolutions on her blog Momstrosity, she candidly shared how her only goal for 2019 is to survive, and it's the epitome of refreshing.
"Here we are again, friends. The brink of a new year," she wrote. "My newsfeed is full of positive manifestations for the next trip around the sun. Resolutions to run that half-marathon. Cook dinner more often. Hit the gym with regularity. Read."
Normally, Eliza is happy to join in on her friends' mission to achieve some form of self-improvement. However, this year is different.
"Most years, I'm right there with them," she confessed. "In my mind, I've conjured a list five miles long — of all the things I hope to accomplish in the next year. Versions of my best self. Habits to make me a better mother, a better wife, a better friend, and a better fit for these snug jeans."
"They need a mom who does her best to love them well — imperfections and all."
She continued: "But this year, I'm laying it all down. I can't. The truth is, I'm in the weeds. I'm in the when-will-my-kids-sleep-again weeds. I'm in the lots-of-little-kids-with-lots-of-big-needs weeds. I am knee-deep in picky eaters, dirty diapers, temper tantrums, health issues, and repetitive dinners."
For this busy mom, focusing on her four kiddos needs to be priority number one. And frankly, just getting through the year unscathed is enough sometimes.
"This is not my year to run a marathon. This is not my year to drink two gallons of water a day, or to make healthy, home-cooked meal every night, or serve on all of those committees. It is my year to survive. This is my year to sleep when I can. To give myself grace, always. To embrace the mess."
Her advice? Dial down the pressure.
"I think, as mothers, we put a great deal of pressure on ourselves, whether we realize it or not," she explained. "Small imperfections during the day equate to our shortcomings in our own mind. Messy house? I should clean more. No clean socks? I'm way behind on laundry. Kid acts out in school? I let him watch Frozen too often. We need to stop. I need to stop."
Eliza reminded her readers that kids just need you to love them, and sometimes that doesn't include all the frills.
"The reality is this: my kids don't need a mom who looks great in leggings right now," said Eliza. "Or a mom who makes individualized quiches for all the kids in class. They need a mom who does her best to love them well — imperfections and all. So this year, if you need it (spoiler alert: you almost definitely do) — give yourself grace. Some years aren't meant to be record-breaking. Some years are meant to survive."