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Real Lies Parents Tell Their Kids

28 of the Funniest Lies Parents Actually Tell Their Kids

Image Source: Bravo

Although parents teach their children that they should never tell a lie, sometimes a harmless fib can be a powerful resource — especially for the desperate mom who is just trying to get her kiddo to at least taste the darn mushroom. Whether you've come up with a passable reason for why the Tooth Fairy didn't stop by last night (when telling the truth that "I forgot to stop by the ATM!" won't do) or a clever alternative to what the ice cream truck's music actually signifies, if it's for the good of your child, what's the harm? Plus, there just happens to be the added bonus of getting a good laugh out of it! We asked moms for the best lies they've told their children and some of their responses will have you wishing that your kids would stay gullible forever.

  1. "The ice cream van music only plays when he runs out of ice cream!" — Anne
  2. "My kids think we have hidden cameras in the house, so when they are trying to fib about something we tell them we'll check the cameras and they spill the beans every time." — Amber
  3. "Speed bumps have children under them. They weren't holding their adult's hand so no one saw them and ran them over. Then the road crew covered them up as a yellow speed bump. My kids always held my hands after that outside." — Lisa Marie
  4. Image Source: ABC

  5. "After watching Barney every day twice a day, I told my son that Barney died and blocked the channel! Shameful I know." — Teddi
  6. "That I sat outside her preschool all day in case she needed me!" — Tamarra
  7. "I told my kids that Santa was fat because he eats naughty children." — Kathleen
  8. Image Source: New Line Cinema

  9. "We called [the ice cream man] the music man. For longest time my daughter thought he drove around playing music, she didn't know about the ice cream!" — Cathralynn
  10. "That if they aren't good they will end up like their brother in the attic. Whom they have never met." — Brittany
  11. "The candy up by the register at stores is old and left over. The stores put it there so the manufacturers can come back and pick it up because it went bad." — Samantha
  12. Image Source: CBS

  13. "The first time my daughter lost a tooth, I didn't hear my alarm in the middle of the night. I woke up to a very disappointed 6-year-old. Thankfully it was MLK day and I just told her the tooth fairy doesn't work holidays." — Jessica
  14. "We were at the circus and a camel pooped in front of us and I told them that's where circus peanuts come from. About 30 minutes later a vendor came by with peanuts and my daughter was horrified. It was a crowning moment is parenthood." — Samantha
  15. "I used to tell my son that every time he bumped his head, it would make him smarter. It kept him from crying." — Ronda
  16. Image Source: TLC

  17. "My son ate my chocolate women's vitamins so I told him he would grow boobs. He was terrified." — Jessica
  18. "When I forget to collect a lost tooth before I go to bed... the tooth fairy couldn't find it because their room was too messy!" — Sheena
  19. "After a few episodes of Caillou, I told my daughter that she had made him up in her imagination and that it wasn't a show she had ever seen." — Heather
  20. Image Source: Fox

  21. "That it is a 'rule of the world' that you have to start eating the skin on an apple when you're 4 years old." — Vicki
  22. "We went to the park and the 4-year-old was trying to go into a huge storm drain. I told him a bad clown that eats kids live in there. I finally told him it was pretend because he got super excited and when I said it was a movie, for over a year now he still wants to watch the movie." — Heather
  23. "We told all my nieces, nephews, and kids they had a light on their forehead that when they lied it flashed red, amber when they were telling partial lie and green when it was the truth... Worked for over a decade!" — Lyndal
  24. Image Source: TLC

  25. "I told my son if he didn't start behaving the birds were going to get him. I'm not sure why birds anymore but he actually stopped being a butt head." — Kelcie
  26. "I told my girls the tangles in their hair were spider webs and if we didn't get them out, spiders come to lay eggs in the webs and eventually the family of spiders crawl in their ears and eyes." — Lupita
  27. "That she was allergic to soda." — Sarah
  28. Image Source: Universal Pictures

  29. "I used to tell my son to brush his teeth really good, because the tooth fairy paid extra for clean teeth." — Lynn
  30. "That Mickey Mouse had to call and personally invite him to Disney World before we could go." — Cori
  31. "The younger you get pregnant the more it hurts...." — Megan
  32. Image Source: USA Network

  33. "When my son was about 4 he walked in on my changing my sanitary napkin and he saw blood and said 'Mom, what happened? Why are you bleeding?' and I said 'I don't know.' Well he said 'Mom, I think you wiped your butt too hard.' I said 'Yeah, I think you're right.'" — Antoinette
  34. "That there was a sugar fairy that came on Halloween night and took half their candy. She would leave a gift." — Vickie
  35. "That the movie Matilda is a true story and he's lucky he doesn't have to go to that school." — Shalimar
  36. "Two biggies I use regularly are whatever I am eating and don't want to share, I say it's spicy. Or I lie about what time it is, so they might go in for a nap or bed early...." — Sue
  37. Image Source: Warner Bros.

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