Signs You're a Supportive Spouse

It's easy to sometimes focus on what needs to get done day to day to keep your household running while subsequently forgetting that it's important to also focus on achieving future goals and growth. When you're a supportive partner, you always make time for your spouse to talk about their goals and plans, both short term and long term, and to outline what they see for themselves in the future — both for your shared relationship and for their own self.

Even when the idea is for a company that makes boxers for men called "Sausage Pockets" (yes, that's a real idea I've had to sit through), encouraging your spouse's ideas is important, and a supportive spouse will always do so. Whether it's a legitimate idea for how to do something or a silly idea about what to do for date night, you don't necessarily have to agree with each and every one, but by encouraging them all in some way (maybe for the Sausage Pocket idea you encourage their creativity and ingenuity rather than the product itself), you show your partner that you have their back and support them no matter what.

Whether you stay home with the kids, they do, or you both work, you pay attention to what your kids need from you both and do your share to make sure you're helping out as much as possible. From entertaining the kids while your spouse takes a shower to changing a blowout diaper if you didn't handle the last one, there are lots of opportunities to lighten your partner's load and show that you're in it together.

If you're a supportive partner, you don't need to hear the words "I need a break" to know that your partner is tired, stressed, or upset and needs a few minutes (or more) to themselves. Whether they've been with the kids all day and you just got home to chaos or they had a seriously long day at work and need 20 minutes to run a relaxing bath, you know when to let them have a little me time so that they can come back into whatever you're doing together with a fresh mindset.

Listening when your partner talks about a problem they have is so important, but what's even more important is the way you then respond to the issue. A supportive partner knows that sometimes their spouse just wants to hear "I'm sorry you're dealing with that, that really sucks," instead of a laundry list of things they can do to fix the issue off the bat. Sometimes the latter is necessary and helpful, but usually your spouse will mention they need help sorting through something or want your opinion on how to solve a problem at some point during the conversation, which is your cue to lay out the helpful advice.

Sure, sometimes it's upsetting when your partner has a last-minute change of plans, ruining something you two had planned together, but for the most part, you're understanding. Whether they need to stay late at work, are sleep-deprived, or just need to reschedule a plan, you can support that need without picking a fight about their lack of attention to you. In turn, they'll feel that their needs and time are being respected rather than feeling guilty.

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It's one thing to ask "How was your day?" in the first place, but it's another thing to make sure that this mindless, habitual question doesn't become just that. If you're supportive of your spouse, you're listening to what they're really saying about their day, their job, their friends — and remembering the main details. Not having to ask "Who's Joan again?" every time your spouse is talking about their boss shows them you're actually listening and taking it all in.

Whether they got a promotion at work, are running a marathon, or have mastered a recipe they've been testing, you're there to cheer them on. For both big things and small, a supportive partner is ready to congratulate and celebrate wins (even if it's the simple fact that you opened that pickle jar that had been giving you some trouble — we all like to win).

You always know when it's time to take a step back during an argument and apologize. Sometimes that means apologizing for forgetting to do something, for accusing them of something, or for picking a fight (whether you ended up being wrong or right). Even more so, you understand the difference between apologizing just to end the argument and actually meaning it and doing what it takes to make the situation better between you both.