What Being a Surrogate Is Like
The Incredible Thing 1 Woman Learned From Being a Surrogate Mom
For many, the road to motherhood is a difficult journey, but for the surrogates who make some women's dreams come true, this experience is unlike any other. However, the one thing all of these women have in common is their strength.
Mel Holman — who has been a surrogate mother twice, as well as an egg donor — shed light on her experience by sharing a powerful message on Constance Hall's Facebook page. "A few weeks ago I gave birth to a baby boy. This is me holding him. He was perfect — a screaming newborn mess, lifted off my stomach and put gently into his Mother's loving arms," she wrote. "Those arms were not mine. She's next to me in this picture."
Mel understands how difficult it is for some women to get pregnant despite their intense desire to be mothers and doesn't take her ability to conceive for granted.
"While working as a nurse, one day I came across a woman in tears. She was devastated after yet another round of failed IVF. All I wanted to do was fix it for her," she wrote. "I first donated my eggs to a woman who had been trying to conceive for 13 years. Eighteen children have now been born using my donated eggs."
For Mel, she and these other women are similar — whether they can easily get pregnant or not. Just like the theme of a lecture on feminism that she recently sat in on, Mel believes that women can achieve incredible things when they work together. What she's learned from making another woman a mother is something that not many realize.
"While supporting women through infertility, I am constantly amazed at the strength, resilience, and determination of these women. Most of all, their endless capacity to love and care for their sisterhood.
I see the fear, the sadness, and yet the hope and excitement etched on their faces as we make plans — often after a long journey of multiple miscarriages and repeated IVF attempts. Their dreams of cuddling their child seemingly closer. Knowledge that joining a mother's group or doing the school run could soon be a part of their story.
They are fierce and bold and determined to keep trying, even when they are scared and feel let down — over and over. For many, their perseverance paid off. Now they're moms who get a rainbow macaroni necklace on Mother's Day just like I do. But it wasn't easy. In all these women, donors, recipients, those who never conceived . . . I found the meaning of strength, resilience, and love."