What the Holiday Season Is Like For Parents, According to Kevin McCallister

Updated on Dec 22, 2017 at 5:10 PM

Most aspects of life change after having kids, but perhaps the biggest changes reveal themselves around the holidays. Whereas the Christmas season before children is full of homemade hot chocolate, quirky white elephant parties, and snuggling up to watch holiday movies in the peace and quiet of your home, the holiday season after kids is full of search parties for hot toys, keeping the magic of Santa relentlessly alive, positioning a weird little elf around the house every morning, and fencing in your tree so the baby can't eat the pine needles.

If you're jonesin' for just a little taste of what the Christmas season was like before you had your precious little ones, you're not alone. However, we can't give that to you, so read through to instead see what the holidays look like for parents, as told by Home Alone's beloved Kevin McCallister.

When You Just Got Over the First Day of School and the Holidays Sneak Up

Already?!

Trying to Snap a Successful Holiday Card Photo

What is it about cameras that make a kid's behavior the worst?

When You See the Line For the Mall Santa

How is it possible that the line for Saint Nick is this long every single day leading up to Christmas?

When You See How Much It Costs to Take a Photo With Santa

Just when you though the line was the worst part . . .

Decorating the House and Putting Up the Tree

As your kids sit poised, ready to touch everything.

When Your Toddler Inevitably Breaks an Ornament, or Worse, Knocks the Whole Tree Over

The cheap plastic ornament market was definitely created for parents.

When You Fondly Remember Christmas Before You Had Kids

As you pack away everything breakable that you just spent hours setting up.

When You Run Out of Elf on the Shelf Ideas Less Than a Week Into December

Not only do you have to remember to set it up before bed, but the kids expect it to be doing something funny every single morning!

When Your Child Hands You Their Christmas List

Read: Christmas novel/regurgitated toy catalog.

Holiday Shopping With Kids

Your intentions may be good, but there's no easy way to shop with kids through the hell that is a crowded mall blaring Christmas music.

When You See How Expensive the Year’s Hottest Toy Is

Nearly $100 for a speckled egg containing a glorified Furby inside?

When You Snatch the Last of Said Popular Toy Off the Shelf

You pat yourself on the back as other moms figure out how they're going to explain why "Santa" didn't bring their kid the most coveted toy of the year.

Celebrating Being Finished With Christmas Shopping

Never has anything felt so gratifying, whether you finish weeks or hours before Christmas.

When You Threaten to Buy a Fake Tree From Now on Because Nobody Helps You Clean Up After the Real One

It's as if the suggestion alone justifies comparing you to Scrooge or the Grinch.

Spotting the Childless Neighbors Enjoying Their Holiday Season Alone

You smile and wave even though inside you are brimming with jealousy at their spontaneous and independent lifestyle (full of breakable Christmas decorations and glass tree ornaments).

Trying to Wrap Presents Steathily While the Kids Are Asleep

It's no easy feat keeping the magic of Santa alive.

When They Inevitably Walk In on You and You Act Innocent

Welp, now you're going to have to unwrap everything and buy new paper so they don't figure out that Mommy is Santa.

When Someone Starts to Discuss the Reality of Santa Near Your Kids

Cool it, Santa is the only thing keeping the kids behaved leading up to the holiday!

When Your Kids Voluntarily Go to Bed Early Because They Can’t Wait For Santa to Come

It's the best Christmas gift they could have given you.

Appreciating the Calm Before the Christmas Morning Storm

Tomorrow morning, this beautiful room will be in ruins.

When Your Kids Wake Up Earlier Than the Sun on Christmas Morning

And it feels like you just fell asleep.

Watching the Kids Open Their Gifts Like Animals

As you stay very clearly out of their way, dodging empty boxes and flying gift bows.

When You Ask Your Kid to Get Dressed Before Company Comes Over

You have so many things to do, you figure they can handle this solo for once . . . maybe not, though.

Cooking a Big Dinner For the Whole Family

Why can't Christmas dinner be something simple like Chinese food or pizza?

Watching Your Kids Demolish the Dessert Table

In the spirit of Christmas, you let them, but you know you're going to pay for this later.

When You Pack Up the Elf on the Shelf Until Next Year

Sayonara, elf.

When the Holiday Is Finally Over and the Kids Are Asleep

Until next year.