What It's Like Taking Kids to Visit a Mall Santa
The 18 Soul-Crushing Stages of Taking Your Kids to Visit the Mall Santa
Image Source: New Line Cinemas
If one of your family's Christmas traditions is paying a visit to Santa Claus, then you have our deepest sympathies. There's plenty of creative holiday activities you could certainly be doing instead (99 percent of which don't take place in a crowded mall), but for whatever reason – admit it, you really want to plaster that adorable photo all over Facebook – you've committed to this one. Whether you're a "Santa's Workshop" newbie or a seasoned veteran, there are plenty of psychological land mines between the start of the line and the big guy's lap. Here's a cautious look at 18 of them.
1 You arrive at the mall with your kids and are shocked at all the misbehaving children.
Image Source: AMC
2 You make your way to "Santa's North Pole Cottage" and get in line.
Image Source: Warner Bros.
3 You immediately try to figure out how this must be some kind of mistake.
Image Source: 20th Century Studios
4 You overhear an older kid talking trash on Santa.
Image Source: Paramount Pictures
5 You – along with other like-minded moms in line – get over-the-top excited about all things Santa.
Image Source: NBC
6 You eventually arrive at the official entrance only to read the "pricing packages" and learn how much a single photo will cost.
Image Source: Paramount Pictures
7 You realize there's no turning back and that you are just a tiny cog in a very powerful machine.
Image Source: NBC
8 At some point, even your kids are over it.
Image Source: ABC
9 Just when your kids are next in line, they have to go to the bathroom "so bad."
Image Source: NBC
10 Santa motions for your kids to approach, but one decides to have a meltdown instead.
Image Source: NBC
11 It's clear that every adult in earshot is staring at you.
Image Source: The CW
12 Thankfully, the tantrum turns out to be just an insane level of excitement.
Image Source: Warner Bros.
13 As they climb up on Santa's lap, you give the bearded man a knowing glance.
Image Source: Paramount Pictures
14 He responds with a discreet wink, the pro that he is.
Image Source: 20th Century Studios
15 You can't hear everything, but you're pretty sure Santa is blatantly defying you.
Image Source: ABC
16 In the two-millisecond window allotted for the official photo, you encourage your kids to smile for the camera.
Image Source: BBC
17 But they insist on being mortally petrified instead.
Image Source: Paramount Pictures
18 As your kids hop off his lap and you split the bill between three credit cards, you curse Santa's name.
Image Source: New Line Cinema
