Meghan Trainor Says She Was Shamed For Taking Antidepressants During Pregnancy

Meghan Trainor is expecting her second baby with husband Daryl Sabara this summer. But as excited as she is to welcome the little one into the world, it's brought up some difficult memories of delivering her first baby.

On the Today Show, the pop star shared that she felt "so much shame" when nurses implied that her being on antidepressants during pregnancy impacted the birth outcome of her son Riley. "He came out asleep, and that's what they literally called it, he's 'sleepy.' And I was like, 'Wake him up, like what do you mean?' " Trainor recalled. "Some people were like, 'Oh it's because you were on your antidepressants.'"

It's a reaction that Trainor had not expected. Leading up to her delivery there "was a big debate" about whether she should stay on her antidepressants or not. "My first OBGYN, this guy was like, 'Oh you can throw those candies away,'" Trainor told co-hosts Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager. "I was like devastated." But after seeing another provider, she was told that "it was very safe," and she ultimately "got it approved by all my doctors."

After the nurses' comments, Trainor called her doctors in a panic. "I called them and was like, 'You said nothing would happen!' And they said there's no science that backs that up, they're just pointing fingers," she continued. "I just felt so much shame, I just had a crazy surgery and I'm on all these drugs and I feel miserable and to get pointed at to say it's your fault that your kid's asleep."

The experience inspired Trainor to include a "huge" chapter on her mental health in her new book, "Dear Future Mama: A TMI Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, and Motherhood from Your Bestie" (out April 25).

While writing the book, Trainor says that she wanted to center the mother's experience rather than only focus on the intricacies of pregnancy. "We're not forgetting about the mamas," she clarifies. "It's not just 'Here comes the new baby' it's also 'You matter! You are important'."

In the book, Trainor also opens up about being diagnosed with PTSD after the C-section. When Riley was born he was rushed to the neonatal intensive care unit after struggling with breathing issues. Her husband, Sabara, went with him, leaving Trainor behind to get sewn up on the surgical table.

"Usually when you're being sewn up for 45 minutes, you're like, 'Look at my gorgeous baby. We did it. This is everything.' But I was laying there alone," Trainor told People. "In the moment, I was so drugged up, I was calling my mom, and she's crying on the phone, like, 'Are you okay?' And I was like, 'We're fine.' And then when I tell people what happened, they're like, 'Jesus Christ,' and I'm like, 'Yeah, that was kind of messed up, right?'"

When the family finally came home from the hospital, Trainor says she began having nightmares and flashbacks to the C-section. "I couldn't go to sleep at night. I would be in tears and tell Daryl, 'I'm still on that table, dude. I'm trapped there. I can't remind myself I'm in bed and I'm safe at home,'" Trainor told PEOPLE. "I had to learn how traumatic it was." But through therapy, she has been able to work through and process the trauma.

The 29-year-old singer admits to Kotb that "It wasn't like a fairy tale birth." However, she did come out of it with "a fairy tale baby."