One Week Postpartum
Back at home. Still rocking my pj's. Still got a lumpy, squishy watermelon belly. Still got the granny-style undies and thunder pads. I am glad to be home, but surely it is illegal to be responsible for two other little humans when in fact you are a walking zombie? And what the HELL do I do with two children? I barely did one before?! How do I bath them both? How do I get them both fed at the same time? Boobs out, get baby on one side, express pump on the other, and shove a spoon in my toddler's face — that’s how . . . hmmm, bringing sexy back to the dinner table all right. Oh, yes, and somehow I am meant to fit into my prepregnancy clothes right (ha ha ha, that’s a joke, right?).