11 Reasons Attending a Kid's Birthday Party Is the Worst

Updated on 6/24/2017 at 10:50 AM

The number of events that come with having kids — like play dates — that have the potential to be the absolute worst are numerous. Attending a birthday party before having kids usually involves a glass of Champagne, delicious desserts, and fun music. After kids, birthday parties involve little rascals hopped up on sugar, greasy half-eaten pizza slices, and clowns that make the kids cry hysterically — all of which make you wish you had that glass of Champagne from your past life handy.

If you've got what feels like 400 kid parties coming up — how does that always seem to happen? — read through for 11 reasons all parents can agree that attending a kid's birthday party is the absolute worst.

You have no idea what to get the kid as a gift and it'll probably be the same one every other kid gets for them.

Everyone in the class is invited so you barely know the kid at all and have to fake it with the parents.

If your kid is shy, they cling to you the whole time.

If your kid is outgoing, they're probably responsible for getting the other kids hyped up.

All of the kids walk around with greasy pizza hands touching everyone and everything.

You have to endure hired princesses with high-pitched voices or creepy middle-aged Elmo impersonators for what seems like hours.

If the party is some kind of activity, you end up spending the whole party helping your child instead of hiding in the corner.

There’s always one parent who winds up all of the other kids until they are too crazy to control.

You watch as the birthday kid spits all over their cake to blow out the candles — you really wanted a piece.

Or the birthday child gets hysterical because some other kid blows out the candles (probably your kid).

You're only free from party hell after your child has consumed three adult-size slices of sugary frosted cake.

Good luck with the rest of the day postparty.