Once your child is in the nursery and preschool years, they'll be even more surrounded by other kids, especially kids with older siblings who maybe know more than your little one does about bodies and sex. This is an age with just enough curiosity and just enough innocence to not realize that touching the body of another child isn't allowed without someone explaining privacy and consent early.
Before they head off to school, here's what to talk about:
- Avoid cutesy stories about babies coming from the stork. It's normal for a child to ask where a baby comes from, especially if they're about to become a big sibling or someone close to the family is having a baby. You don't have to go into the technical details of how conception happens when sex is involved, but explaining that a person with ovaries makes an egg in their belly and a person with a penis and testicles plants a seed to help a baby grow is a lot more realistic. It's also best to use real terms like sperm and uterus in the same way you taught them about their penis or vagina. (It's also important to talk to kids about how even though all babies are born from an egg and a sperm, families can start in tons of different ways, like through adoption or surrogacy).
- Tell them when it's OK to touch. Children should know that they shouldn't touch themselves in public, nor should they touch anyone else's private parts at all. Touching themselves if they're curious is for bath time or when they have privacy.
- Begin a simple consent talk. Consent doesn't have to just be about sex. Your child's body is their body, and teaching them about consent is as simple as explaining that their body is theirs and if someone asks to hug, kiss, or touch them, they can say no if they don't want to. Same goes for them and other people — they have to ask first if they'd like to give someone a hug.
