Even though I wish my parents wouldn't have had their huge fights in front of me, as those never really came to resolutions any time soon after, seeing those arguments actually taught me about what I don't want out of my own relationships, both romantic and platonic. However, it's important to note that you can go too far with fighting in front of your children. Some kids who come from "high-conflict homes" tend to have extra vigilance when it comes to processing emotions, which "could lead to problems in social relationships later in life."
None of us is perfect — if you do end up having one of those huge fights with your partner in front of the kids, be sure to chat with them about it afterward. Let them know why the fight was so big (if it's because you bottled up your feelings for too long or simply lost your temper), how you solved (or plan to solve) the issue, and what you would have done differently if you could go back. By talking it out with them, they are able to process the way they feel and ask questions.
All a child wants is to know that their family is happy and intact, so if you can get them to that point after a fight like this, they'll hopefully feel better for having to see it. Dr. Mark Cummings, psychologist at Notre Dame University, says, "When kids witness a fight and see the parents resolving it, they're actually happier than they were before they saw it. It reassures kids that parents can work things through . . . Constructive conflict is associated with better outcomes over time."
