35 Honest and Funny Reasons Being Married Is the Freakin' Best

Being married is about so much more than a ceremony and vows — it's also about finding ways to annoy your person forever . . . and they still love you.

Don't want to go to that boring event that your coworker keeps inviting you to despite your clear avoidance of the issue for weeks? Cough — "I think my husband is sick" — cough.

If you're like me and have White Walkers for feet, you're going to need a toasty leg to keep them warm at night.

Keys, wallet, and other mysterious items that always seems to fall into a hole in the universe can usually be found by your spouse, who just knows where everything is.

You know what's better than a back-scratcher? A back-scratcher with fingernails.

Part of what made The Office so endearing was the knowing looks that Jim and Pam would secretly exchange with each other and the camera. You two just get it and can have so much fun in sharing in the absurdities of all of life's weird moments.

Listen — everyone farts. Everyone also needs someone to blame them on, and a spouse is the perfect culprit.

When you're stranded in the bathroom with your pants around your ankles, just know that handing you a new roll of toilet paper is basically what spouses were invented for.

Did you know that there's a right and a wrong way to squeeze toothpaste onto the brush? Well, your spouse probably does, and they'll be sure to tell you.

Ah, dating. That necessary evil to get to being married. But let's be real — no one is missing random get-togethers with people who only talk about themselves on a first date.

Should you still shave when married? I mean, probably. Are you going to? No, no you're not.

Of course, I would never tell someone to throw a dirty diaper at someone, but occasionally you may need to "toss" someone a diaper, and that someone has signed paperwork saying they'll never leave you.

Watching a shared show means that you have someone to bore with your theories all week long.

Marriage in part is the understanding that you have a sexual partner for life, meaning you don't have to troll the bars anymore. Score (literally)!

Chances are your partner is better at some of the things you're not very good at, like cooking or assembling the TV.

You know what I don't want to do? Garden. Thankfully, my husband has picked up this chore, since there wasn't any way I was going to be picking up a spade anytime soon.

Since chargers have this terrible habit of going AWOL, being married gives you a whole other cord to use.

Thanks to your spouse's amazing memory, they'll remember that dish you like but can never actually think of.

A sense of humor is integral to a happy marriage, and thankfully, your partner thinks your jokes are just the right amount of cheesy.

Even though you have a meticulous shopping list, every time they go with you, you find a hundred things you "forgot" to add. Now you've been at the store for hours and you basically live there.

No one wants to leave the house stinky, and that sweet and supportive spouse of yours is willing to do a sniff check to make sure you're as fresh as a daisy.

While it would be great to leave the kids to their own devices, someone should probably watch them if you're gonna bust out that new bath bomb you've been dying to use.

Instead of bemoaning into your hands about how you'll never drink again, complain about your hangover with a nice and greasy meal made with love from your spouse.

Making the bed can take up a valuable 30 seconds of your morning, and having a spouse means you get to allocate that task.

While you may never sleep again like you did prebaby, being married at least gives you the opportunity for the occasional shut-eye.

Do you know why the word "mangoes" is so funny? Neither do I, but that couple over there has been laughing hysterically for 10 minutes at the mere mention of the tropical fruit.

Even though you've worked through every last drop of your hair gel, that wonderful spouse of yours still has a full stash.

Every marriage is made up of two people — one who kills the bugs, and one who screams.

Since most recipes are made for four people, having a spouse definitely helps even that out.

Some people like to eat alone, but if you're like me, you think that half the point of a good meal is sharing it with someone.

"See, Aunt Janet? I found someone who loves me! Now stop asking about my personal life."

If it wasn't for your spouse, chances are you would have gotten that too-big-for-you motorcycle or actually tried to run with the bulls. They keep you alive. You're welcome.

Taking pictures can be pretty awkward, but when you're standing with your best friend, they're not as terrible anymore. And if you're into Instagram, you have a built-in photographer.

It's hard to look at yourself in the mirror and say for certain whether or not you're actually (ugh) getting older. Thanks to that spouse of yours, you'll know if there's a new gray hair or wrinkle.

With a happy marriage, there's comfort in the word "forever." Together, you have a partner for the rest of your life, which should sounds less like a threat and more like encouragement.