11 Ways to Start Talking to Your Daughter About Sexual Assault Early

From an early age, it's important to explain to girls that their private parts are just that: private, and not for others to touch. Chrestman advised differentiating between private and shameful, however. "You don't want them to feel embarrassed." Young girls can also understand saying "no" to unwanted physical contact. Explain that they don't have to hug anyone, even Grandma. They should also ask before touching a playmate and respect "no."

"Adults can coerce kids, so they need models of what appropriate touching looks like," Chrestman said. Parents can do this by showing their daughter what on their bodies is OK to touch. Kids are going to be curious, so explain, "Within this outline is mine." A trusted doctor can also model appropriate touching.

Your daughter may feel uncomfortable talking about sexual assault with you. That's OK. "Drop it for now, and bring it up later," Chrestman said. Kids have questions about sex, so remember, if your daughter isn't talking about this with you, she is talking about it with someone else.

If you're watching the news with your daughter and sexual assault is being discussed, ask, "What do you think of that?" Or, "What would you do in that situation?" Chrestman further advised parents not to be dismissive of song lyrics or video games that address sexual assault: "Use them as a teaching experience." Ask, "Interesting song you are listening to; what is he or she saying there?"

"It's really easy to blame kids," Chrestman said. Instead of questioning where your daughter went, or with whom, ask, "Is this a safe situation to be in?" Always talk about the safety aspect when she is making plans with friends.

It's better to have some plan than no plan. Discuss various scenarios with your daughter and what her exit strategy could be. Remind her you will help her if she finds herself in a scary situation.

It's OK to share a story of something that happened to you, in an age-appropriate way. You might tell a young child, "Someone tried to hurt me once, and this is how I got out of it." You can also try this approach when sharing your experience: "This is what happened to me, and I don't want this to happen to you." Chrestman reminded parents that since we never want to blame or shame a child, "Make sure you aren't blaming or shaming yourself either when sharing your story."

"Predatory behavior starts small," Chrestman said. If someone seems creepy or just gives your daughter a weird vibe, it's good for her to trust that gut feeling and get away from that person.

This one is simple. Teach your daughter from a young age how to say "no" loudly and repeatedly.

"If kids confide in you, treat it like gold," Chrestman said. Never minimize their experiences. Say things like, "I'm so grateful you shared that with me." Or, "Thank you for telling me that." You want your daughter to feel comfortable coming to you and to encourage her to keep doing so.

You notice moodiness or a change in other behavior, grades, or friends. This could mean something is going on. "If you suspect abuse, be direct. Ask if someone hurt them," Chrestman advised. Try questions such as, "Did somebody do something to make you feel bad?" Or, "Has something happened?"

"Don't blame them and let them know you love them and you will protect them from further harm," she urged, adding that a great online resource for parents and kids to learn about, prevent, and deal with sexual abuse is RAINN. You can also call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.