6 Things to Do Before Baby For a Better Postpartum Experience

Updated on 3/3/2019 at 11:15 AM

The lack of postpartum care in America is well-known to women who've experienced what it's like to be forgotten by the healthcare system immediately following their child's birth. But for parents who haven't yet welcomed babies or pregnant women awaiting the arrival of their first, it's a pretty well-kept secret. No one writes "hire a postpartum midwife" on those advice slips at the baby shower. Most people won't even buy the nipple cream off the registry, and some don't even bring food when they drop by to visit your newborn.

It wasn't until I read The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother that I realized what I'd been missing after having my first two babies. According to author Heng Ou, women should be given a "sacred time-out" during the weeks after delivery instead of "rushing through it in a state of fatigue or stress." And because, as a society, we've somehow forgotten the importance of postpartum and let new mothers go mostly unsupported, reclaiming the tender and often trying season starts with preparing yourself. Here's what you should do.

Figure Out Your Food

It goes without saying that you'll be a little busy in the days, weeks, and months after giving birth, which is why planning out your postpartum meals well ahead of your due date should be at the top of your to-do list. Making healthy dishes and freezing them is a great place to start so you'll always have something on hand to nourish you in those crucial early weeks.

In The First Forty Days, Ou shares countless recipes specifically tailored to postpartum women, plus other ideas for making sure you and your family are well fed. Ask a friend, neighbor, or family member to set up a dinner delivery schedule (there are websites like Take Them a Meal that make it supereasy). Sign up for a grocery delivery service so fresh fruits and vegetables are only a click away when it's too hard to get out of the house. And finally, stock your fridge and pantry in the days ahead of your due date.

Prepare Your Nest

Putting together a basket of new mom and baby necessities for your bedside table is just one small thing you can do to make those early days at home with a newborn easier. When you have everything you need — diapers, nipple cream, hand sanitizer, a water bottle, etc. — within arm's reach, you can really settle into your new mom cocoon, your bedroom.

Ou adds that "creating your nest is not about serious redecorating, it's about making small shifts to ensure you will be as comfortable as possible nursing and soothing your baby for hours on end." You don't need to go full Marie Kondo, but cleaning up clutter and making sure your room is functional and calming is a good start.

Gather Your Support Group

Ou writes that "it takes a village to usher a woman into motherhood" and that "a woman must be proactive about creating her own version of a postpartum support system." This is more true than ever.

Who will you reach out to if you have breastfeeding issues? Is there a friend you can call when you need to vent? Does your hospital have a new moms/parents group you can join? Do you have family that can come over to help when you need a break? If you're not lucky enough to live near family or have close friends willing to help, you might want to look into hiring a postpartum midwife, baby nurse, or doula whose job it is to support you in the weeks after you give birth. Some insurance even covers this expense! Whatever your support team looks like, make sure you have one in mind, because there's no medal for doing it alone.

Clear Your Calendar

The only thing on your schedule should be your due date. Now is not the time to say yes to parties or events within days of delivering. Don't even commit to coffee until after you've had the baby and feel ready. If you have older kids, find family or friends who can help you get them to school or other activities for a few weeks. Because recovering — and getting to know your new bundle — should be the most important thing on your to-do list. For me, this was part of learning to honor myself by giving myself the gift of time. Ou reminds us, "You're not slipping away to a spa weekend or seeking out 'me' time; this retreat is designed to ultimately serve the whole family."

Understand the Importance of Postpartum

Women have babies every day. You see new moms out and about all the time. You've probably watched friends go through it seemingly without issue. And you've definitely seen celebrities "bounce back" within weeks of giving birth. As a society there isn't a lot of emphasis on the importance of the postpartum period. But Ou insists it is a woman's "birthright" to have a "gentle, supported postpartum period." And because of the way our healthcare system works, it's on us to make that happen. Wrapping your mind around the importance of it, and giving yourself permission to make it a priority, is the first step.

Get on the Same Page With Your Partner

You might have a vision for how you want your postpartum days to look, but unless you share that with your partner, it'll be tricky to make it a reality. Are they taking three weeks off to stay home like you hoped or were they thinking of taking two? Plan for the postpartum with your partner. And most importantly, tell them what you need. I tried to get my husband to read my mind the first time around, and that didn't go so well.

Ou insists that you look "at each of your expectations about what life will look like when the little one is here" before the baby is born, because while "having a baby may be one of the greatest joys in a woman's life, it's also one of the biggest stressors on a relationship." I couldn't agree more.