Want a Disney Trip With No Lines, Schedules, or Sore Feet? It Exists, and It's a Tired Parent's Dream

You can safely remove the term "Fast Pass" from your vocabulary here. One of the biggest benefits of not having an attached amusement park is that there are virtually no lines, never mind long ones. Among the half-dozen different pool areas on the property, there were two water slides — one, an open-air, twisting and turning tube adventure and the other a thrilling, pitch-black tunnel shoot — that I assumed were going to require a substantial wait. Nope. At the busiest point in the day, it took me all of five minutes for my turn on each of them.

And as for the beach and pools themselves, we had plenty of wiggle room. In fact, when I'd share photos of our trip, people asked if we'd snuck in after-hours or if the resort was at low-capacity. It definitely wasn't, yet there were many times when we were one of just a few families enjoying the Waikolohe Stream (also known as the lazy river), the infinity-style Ka Maka Grotto, or the Ko Olina beach.

Even food required little wait. There were never more than three groups ahead of us when we got to the Papalua Shave Ice Snack Shop or ordered iced coffees at Ulu Cafe.

Kids don't always have to come first to have a memorable family vacation, but that's likely — and unfortunately – why Laniwai, the resort's full-service spa, salon, and fitness center is the first of its kind among all Disney properties. Because Aulani has created a more relaxed Disney experience, an adults-only spa day is finally, gloriously possible.

I spent an afternoon at the Laniwai, which is rooted in Hawaiian history. Early inhabitants believed in the healing power of ancient hydrotherapy, so spa-goers get to take part in cold water plunges, temperate rainwater showers, and hot baths. Aside from my traditional Lomilomi massage — that had been passed down from generations and uses sticks and warm river stones to release tension — a highlight of the day was choosing a random "intention" stone at the start of the experience. Mine read "pono," which is Hawaiian for balance and not a word most parents utter on a trip with their kids.

Google "Disney World Itinerary" and you'll find links to color-coded Excel spreadsheet templates to help organize each half-hour of your vacation. Sure, some parents thrive on that kind of structure, but most everyone can agree that jam-packed schedules involving poorly-napped kids thousands of miles from home are recipes for disaster.

For Aulani, however, once you book your stay, you can safely consider your trip fully planned. Sure, it was recommended that I book a few other things in advance, like tickets to the weekly luau, any spa treatments, and some dining reservations (a fact that I found out wasn't even 100 percent necessary), but otherwise it was actually difficult to find things to schedule ahead of time.

Now, as a Type A traveler, I admit this made me a bit twitchy — I don't much care for vacations that are never-ending hours of lounging in the sand with nothing planned. For people like me, the resort offers the "Daily 'Iwa," an activities calendar that has more than 20 different items each day, from fitness classes to craft sessions to storytelling hours to live music performances. It's the perfect way to let visitors plan out as much or as little as they want without fear of things booking up or selling out.

After the first few days, my family fell into a lovely little groove with most of each day spent in the water and then two planned activities — one of which was for the whole family, like lei-making or a picnic blanket movie night on the lawn (the featured film this trip? Incredibles 2!), and the other something my husband or I wanted to do. For instance, one afternoon, he did standup paddle-boarding in the lagoon while I made sand castles with the girls, and another day, I did sunrise yoga while they slept in. We stuck to one sit-down meal a day, and committed to giving the kids their afternoon naps at least half the time we were there. That low-key itinerary kept every day exciting but also kept us well-rested and as stress-free as one can be while traveling with young kiddos.

For those concerned that Aulani isn't Disney enough, let me go on record in saying that for parents and kids alike, it was the perfect amount. Like other Disney destinations, the Hawaii resort still offers character breakfasts at the Makahiki buffet restaurant along with designated photo opps featuring the usual suspects. The only difference is that Mickey Mouse, Minnie, Goofy, and the gang are "on vacation," too! You'll occasionally see one roaming the resort in a floral t-shirt, but a quick wave is all that's expected.

The resort's overarching intent — Hawaiian culture with a hint of Disney pixie dust — is expertly orchestrated. Traditional foods, like shave ice and a rice-and-Spam delicacy called musubi, are topped with Mickey ears. The elevators play popular Disney songs, but exclusively with a Hawaiian instrumental treatment. Along the stone walking paths, certain rocks light up to reveal, say, the imprint of Maui's famous hook. And although your kids can scout the property for "hidden Mickeys," the real fun is in searching for one of 300 hidden Menehune, little monkey-like mischief makers, or spotting the real-life Moana as she visits with guests and looks for Hei Hei.

This way of experiencing classic Disney moments through a more culturally rooted lens meant that our kids were relentlessly squealing with delight while my husband and I still had some stake in the vacation being about us, too – we weren't plastering on fake smiles at our 14th character sighting of the morning or lugging a stroller-full of snacks and gear for 10 hours straight.

Another surprising benefit of a more muted Disney experience is that although the resort certainly isn't cheap, you don't feel as though you are being challenged to spend money around every corner. There were designated gift shops, sure, but no splashy merchandise kiosks to distract your kids when you are just trying to get some dry beach towels.

One aspect of Disney that isn't downplayed in the slightest is their attention to customer service, cleanliness, and safety. In our hotel rooms, the balcony doors had so many child-safety locks that even I had trouble opening them. Young swimmers can rent complimentary life jackets, and at every pool, multiple lifeguards are on duty all day. At one point, when my 2-year-old was about to jump off the edge of the pool into my arms, she slipped — it was completely fine and I caught her, but I immediately noticed two different guards staring her up and down to make sure she was OK. Sometimes their rules were a bit of a drag — for instance, on a particularly windy day, they wouldn't let us rent boogie boards because they deemed the lagoon's waves "too choppy" — but I appreciated how they erred on the side of caution when keeping their guests safe.

For those who loathe water parks, fear not: the pools at Aulani — even the kid-centric ones — were pristine. I've seen my share of baby-friendly splash zones, and the Keiki Cove made me never want to place even my little toe in any other.

I certainly wouldn't recommend Aulani over other Hawaiian accommodations if you don't have kids, but I so very much appreciated that the resort intentionally offered plenty of opportunities to behold the wonders of Hawaii without always incorporating a blatant Disney connection.

From daily walking tours that teach guests about that area's wildlife to Mo'olelo fireside chats in which a master storyteller (like Disney, Hawaii is rooted in storytelling!) shares the history and traditions of the island's indigenous people, there's plenty to learn. Locally well-known musicians perform most nights, and if art moves you, just walking through the hotel is like meandering through a museum — Aulani has the largest collection of Hawaiian modern art in the entire world.

Above all, the Ka Wa'a luau — an evening of authentic cuisine and breathtaking performances — was a highlight and a must-do in order to fully understand the island's legends and to try out traditional arts like papa printing and kakau tattooing.

We returned home after one week with new customs, new words in our vocabulary (we now use "ohana" interchangeably with family), and a new appreciation for a culture we knew very little about before. It's a major perk that even the most dutiful trip "around the world" at Epcot can't quite offer.

Disney trips come at a premium, and we never have enough room in the budget to bring along help in the form of a grandparent or nanny. If you're in the same financial position but are equally desperate for some quality kid-free time, Aulani offers not just unlimited child care, but free unlimited child care. Your resort stay automatically includes access to Aunty's Beach House, a multi-age "activities club" that can keep your kids entertained safely from 9:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. every day of the week.

The only catch is that it's for kids ages 3 to 12 only. With a 2-year-old in tow, we couldn't take advantage of this amazing offer, but it's something to seriously consider — and something that makes this destination worth visiting.

Yes, planning a trip to Hawaii is no small expense. Aulani's standard hotel rooms start at $400 per night, and although the stay comes with countless free amenities, depending on flights, it can be costly and take triple the time to get there than any other Disney excursion. It was a 10-hour airplane ride for us, and I can't tell you how many hours I spent nervously anticipating all the ways that journey could go wrong (and, in more than a few ways, it did). But once we touched down, our expenses were mostly reserved for food and the very occasional souvenir (hello, Aulani-exclusive Mickey ears with plumeria flowers!).

Plus, flights aside, our family of four would have spent far more for the same time away at Disney World, where the typical standard on-resort hotel room ranges from $250 to $500 and individual daily park entrance tickets are an average of $100 per person ($170, if you opt for park-hopper perks). For us, we saw ourselves saving upwards of $300 a day by opting to go to Aulani over Disney World. Over the course of a week? The savings just kept adding up.

Bottom line: we had no regrets in taking this vacation. It was as if we were experiencing two magnificently different vacations at the exact same time — my husband and I off enjoying remote, tropical paradise while our kids were busy doing Disney.

You'll return to reality refreshed, and unlike a visit to Disney World, your back won't be aching and your feet won't be sore. Sure, it's still a family trip in that my husband and I spatted more than a few times about typical parenting stuff (namely, "you didn't put sunscreen on her already?!") and I had to clean vomit out of my hair at least once, but my goodness, did it feel great to not need to emotionally and physically recover from a Disney vacation. If that doesn't describe the real happiest place on Earth, I don't know what does.

Travel and expenses for the author were provided by Disney for the purpose of writing this story.