Accept that My Kids Will Never Be “Equal”
My parents worked hard to ensure that any opportunities they gave my older brother, they also gave me. I'm sure if my dad found a dime on the ground and gave it to my sibling, he'd make a mental note to give me the next piece of loose change he came across. This egalitarian principle has stuck with me into parenthood, and although I do generally want both my girls to be treated fairly (I don't dare entertain the idea of favorites), I've discovered that keeping things squarely down the middle is an impossible goal to achieve. I killed myself this past year trying to arrange a schedule that had my youngest involved in the same activities my oldest was at the same age, even though it patently made our daily lives more complicated. And more recently, I was wracked with guilt over the decision to send my youngest to full-day preschool a year earlier than we did with my oldest due to changing childcare options and a shrinking budget. Once I made the obvious realization that my kids weren't angrily tallying up the toddler music classes they didn't get to attend, it was clear: stressing over making things equal isn't worth the stress.