124 Pumpkin Spice Offerings, Ranked From Worst to Best

Sprouts Organic Pumpkin Spice Kale Chips ($5) sound like they were dreamt up by buzzword-happy food scientists, and the flavor isn't too far off. Kale chips shouldn't be sweet, much less pumpkin-spiced; we'll leave it at that.

No; just no. Pinnacle Pumpkin Pie Vodka ($15) tastes exactly as you imagine, which is to say: cloying sweet and artificial. It might make for a good gag gift, but beyond that we just can't recommend its purchase.

While we applaud the creativity of Boulder Canyon Pumpkin Pie Kettle Cooked Potato Chips ($5 for 4 bags), after one bite, it's clear why most chip manufacturers stick to pumpkin spice flavoring instead of going fully for it with a pumpkin pie flavor. These were way too sweet and just bizarre.

We had high hopes for Engine 2 Apple Pumpkin Granola ($5) but were puzzled by it's lack of flavor — cardboard-y was the best we could come up with. While the granola doesn't taste bad per se, it also doesn't really taste like anything.

If you're dying to try pumpkin spice candy corn, Gold Emblem Pumpkin Spice Candy Corn is a better option than Brach's. That said, it's painfully sweet, it lacks candy corn's honeyed note, and the only discernible spice is cinnamon.

We really wanted to like Sprouts Toasted Pumpkin Loops ($3) — how good does a pumpkin spice take on Cheerios sound? — but they fell short of our expectations. While the crunchy texture and malty whole-grain base was on point, the pumpkin-spice flavor reminded us of a candle or air freshener.

Sadly, Third Street Festivus Chai ($5) is full of sugar and spice but isn't so nice. While not out-and-out offensive, we wish it tasted more like tea, as a bit of bitterness would round the flavor out nicely.

We have a feeling you'll either love or hate Lucerne Pumpkin Spice Eggnog ($3). Not surprisingly, it's very, very sweet, and has an alcoholic flavor (without any alcohol in the mix), but we could see it being tasty cut with a hefty glug of bourbon.

Undertoasted and overspiced, Sprouts Organic Pumpkin Flax Granola ($4) could benefit from some more fat (to promote toasty granola notes) and salt.

Franklly, you can do better than Entenmann's Little Bites Pumpkin Muffins ($3). The texture isn't bad, per se — unsurprisingly, it's nothing like a freshly baked muffin — but the pumpkin spice is nearly absent; instead these taste like applesauce.

There's no doubt Shock Top Pumpkin Wheat Ale ($8 for four) contains pumpkin, from its funky, gourd scent to the starchy-sweet flavor. However, the lack of spices and the sharp finish knock it back a few stars. We'd sip this at a party, but it's not our go-to autumnal beer.

Clif Bar Spiced Pumpkin Pie ($2) is basically just like the Clif carrot cake bar but with a pumpkin aftertaste. In terms of deliciousness, we give it a "meh," but we might pack a bar while hiking or camping.

Sprouts Old Fashioned Pumpkin Snaps ($2) taste like so-so ginger snaps. They're very crunchy and malty, but we wish they had a deeper molasses note to round things out.

Gevalia Pumpkin Spice Latte ($9 for 6) comes with all of the makings of a latte: both the coffee and a packet of powdered "froth" (essentially creamer). While neat in concept, and not too sweet, we docked points for its bizarre eggy flavor.

We wanted to love Trader Joe's Pumpkin Pie Spice Cookie Butter ($4), but here's the honest truth: it's not worth the calories. We appreciate the crunchy bits of speculoos cookies that are mixed in, but it's not as good as the TJ's speculoos cookie butter (and far inferior compared to Biscoff butter). We were put off by the greasy texture and the flavor is just so-so. If you just broke up with your SO, this might be a good option for eating your feelings, otherwise it's a pass.

Chances are, Shipyard Smashed Pumpkin ($8) is not what you expect; while it brings a high alcohol content to the table (at nine percent alcohol by volume), it tastes undeniably girlie with a sweet pumpkin finish.

There’s no mistaking that Nestlé Toll House Pumpkin Spice Refrigerated Cookie Dough ($3) is pumpkin spiced flavored; it almost tastes like a caricature of itself, despite being made with Libby’s pumpkin purée. That said, we’d still probably eat these mindlessly at a party.

Coffee-mate's Pumpkin Spice creamer ($4) might be better than the original Starbucks PSL. With just a hint of spice, it's not too sweet, is very creamy, and is an affordable and convenient way to get your latte fix.

Seattle Chocolates Choc-o-Lantern Truffle Bar ($4) is very lightly spiced; if we didn't know it was pumpkin-spice-flavored we might think it's a standard milk chocolate bar. That said, it's inoffensive.

Trader Joe's Country Pumpkin Spice Granola Cereal ($2) has a fun texture thanks to crunchy Corn-Pop-like nuggets that are in the mix. Other unexpected additions (coconut and raisins) weren't our favorite, but weren't offensive either.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Pannetone ($5) is serviceable, but a little drier than is ideal, with a bizarre alcohol aftertaste. We'll be sticking to classic pannetone.

We absolutely love Greyston Bakery's mission, but it's pumpkin spice offering, Greyston Bakery Pumpkin Spice Blondie ($2), didn't blow us away. Good, but not great, the blondies are cakey, sweet, and lightly spiced.

365 Pumpkin Pie Cheesecake Sandwich Cookies ($4) smell like a combination of pumpkin pie and Betty Crocker tub icing. The cookies themselves taste similar to graham crackers, while the icing has a slight tartness, thanks to the cream cheese powder and yogurt powder. All in all, these aren't bad. We'd enjoy them with hot coffee or a chai latte.

Despite the sugar overload of Quaker Pumpkin Spice Instant Oatmeal ($7), it still has a pumpkin flavor and almost milky texture that can’t be beat. We’re apt to cut the sugar by mixing half a packet of the pumpkin with Quaker’s unsweetened original oats.

Talenti Gelato Pumpkin Pie ($5) knocked us over the head with its nutmeg flavor but makes up for that with a really creamy texture. We’d eat and enjoy this at a friend’s house, but it’s not our preferred pint of the season.

With festive Fall packaging and adorable pumpkin-shaped sprinkles mixed into the tea, David's Tea Pumpkin Chai ($9) might just win most beautiful. As for flavor, it's not too spiced, very caramel heavy, and sweet tasting (the third ingredient is caramel and the sixth pumpkin candies), without being very sugary.

Trader Joe's Iced Pumpkin Scone Scones ($3) taste like a denser iced pumpkin spice doughnut hole. Some tasters felt that the supersweet, heavily-spiced icing overpowers the cookie-scone hybrid, others thought they were on par with Starbucks line-up of seasonal treats.

Fans of salt water taffy should try Salty Road Pumpkin Pie Salt Water Taffy ($7). The cinnamon-dominated spiciness is subtle at first, but builds as you chew the salty sweet.

We love the shatteringly-crisp texture of Trader Joe's Pumpkin Tortilla Chips ($2), but had mixed feelings about the intensity of salt and spice level (they're not super salty and heavily dusted with pumpkin spice).

365 Pumpkin Spice Granola ($4) isn't as toasted as we prefer for granola, but is still pretty appealing. Reminiscent of oat clusters in Honey Bunches of Oats, or similar cereals, the granola is cinnamon-heavy and sweet.

Malty and dark, with savory notes that remind us of soy sauce, Samuel Adams Harvest Pumpkin Beer ($8 for 6) is mild on the spice (it's most apparent on the nose) yet still screams Fall.

If you're into supersweet oatmeal then you'll love McCann's Pumpkin Pecan With Vietnamese Cinnamon Irish Oatmeal ($9). It definitely boasts a lovely pumpkin-cinnamon flavor, and the toasted pecan pieces offer a nice crunch to the thick oats.

If you're a fan of healthier-tasting, less-salty corn chips, Garden Of Eatin' Pumpkin Corn Tortilla Chips ($3) will do you right. They're slightly sweet and spiced with a gritty corn texture and plenty of pumpkin flavor.

Despite being a strong beer (it clocks in at eight and a half percent alcohol), Samuel Adams Fat Jack ($6) is surprisingly easy drinking. Rather than delivering a knock-you-out boozy kick, it warms you gently, while bringing a concentrated, slightly syrupy pumpkin flavor to each sip.

Rudi's Pumpkin Sandwich Bread ($5) isn't sweet, but rather toasty and warm from a subtle dose of pumpkin and Fall spices.

We're tempted to dock Way Better Snacks Pumpkin Cranberry Tortilla Chips ($4) a point for the irritatingly cutesy misspelling of pumpkin in it's name, but we'll let it slide. Despite the pumpkin and cranberry, they're not sweet, are fried to a just-right crisp texture, and have a nutty flavor we're quite into.

'Tis the season for adult pumpkin spice lattes, and the easiest way to make that happen is with Kahlúa Pumpkin Spice ($21). The sweet concoction definitely hits you with a blast of seasonal flavor without being too boozy. Coffee will never be the same.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Biscotti ($4) are not too sweet and have a really good crisp, crumbly texture. The flavor is more pumpkin-y than pumpkin spice, but we're definitely not complaining.

Sweet Home Farm Pumpkin Flax Granola ($9) is like granola for people that don't really like granola. It has a much lighter texture and flavor than is typical, as it's a mix of puffed rice (think Rice Krispies) and very lightly toasted oats.

Even the creamer averse can’t help but top their coffee and tea with a splash of Baileys Pumpkin Spice Coffee Creamer ($3). The secret is the pumpkin-y creamer uses real cream! Who would have thought?

If pumpkin beer isn't your thing, may we suggest trying Ace Hard Pumpkin Cider ($10 for a six-pack)? Despite being made with apples, it brings the pumpkin pie flavor thanks to a generous dose of warm and cozy Fall spices (allspice, cinnamon, and cloves).

Found in the freezer section, Trader Joe's Pumpkin Macarons ($5) win major points for being extremely. The filling tastes exactly like pumpkin pie and the macarons act like a nutty almond crust. Can we have another . . . and another?

Like an upscale, pumpkin-spiced version of Cow Tales, Williams-Sonoma Pumpkin Pie Caramels ($15) are more fudgey and less chewy in texture than your typical caramel, but we're not complaining. Buttery, not too sweet, and a little spicy, they'll win over nearly anyone with one caveat: they're missing that pop of salinity that salted-caramel-lovers might be looking for.

While we wish it was a bit more moist, we're otherwise smitten with Pepperidge Farm Pumpkin Spice Swirl Bread ($4). Not terribly sweet, it tastes akin to the brand's cinnamon swirl bread with just a hint of pumpkin to differentiate the two. Toast up a slice and slather it with salted butter (or pumpkin butter, for a more-is-more treat).

Trader Joe's Bread Pudding ($4) tastes just like you'd expect (like TJ's original bread pudding with an autumnal twist). While it didn't blow us away, it's pretty darn solid for a frozen dessert.

Open up a package of Oreo Pumpkin Spice ($4) and you're assaulted with the scent of a pumpkin spice candle. Thankfully they're worlds more delicious than a glob of wax. More pumpkin spice than actually pumpkin in flavor, they taste like Golden Oreos with a hint of cinnamon and graham cracker.

If you've had (and enjoyed) Oroweat's soft, seeded bread before, Oroweat Whole Grains Pumpkin Spice and Roasted Seeds ($4) won't disappoint. Not sweet with a subtle pumpkin spice note and plenty of pumpkin seeds, it'd be great toasted with salted butter or cream cheese.

Warmly spiced, crisp, salty, and ever-so-slightly sweet, Food Should Taste Good Harvest Pumpkin Tortilla Chips ($4) would pair equally as well with a sweet snack like pumpkin pie dip as they would with guacamole.

Terra Pumpkin Spice Sweets ($4) remind us of apple chips (in a good way). Not too sweet, they pack a hefty dose of authentic cinnamon and nutmeg flavor and just enough salt.

Boom Chicka Pop Pumpkin Spice ($4) flavor doesn’t hold back on the spices — it’s really sweet and salty, almost like a cinnamon roll. What you won’t find is the pumpkin; instead you’ll detect cinnamon and nutmeg. We approve of this decision wholeheartedly.

Despite essentially being a slab of sugar and pepitas, Williams-Sonoma Spiced Pumpkin Seed Brittle ($30) isn't too sweet. Crunchy, fresh, nutty, and perfectly spiced, this toffee-like treat would be a great hostess gift.

If you're a tea snob, Republic of Tea Pumpkin Spice Black Tea ($12) might not be your proverbial cup of, but pretty much anyone else will appreciate its heady mix of spices and bitter tea tannins. Best served unsweetened with a splash of milk, it's a seasonal staple in our office.

Shipyard Pumpkinhead ($10) smells like apple picking in Fall and has a distinct, pumpkin flavor, frothy head, light(er) body, and a slight bitterness. However, the most interesting feature is the petrol finish. Gassy may be a weird way to describe fermented beer, but think of it this way: it's a sought-after scent in Riesling wine. The brewing company recommends rimming a pint glass with cinnamon sugar, and we can’t wait to try that. This beer doesn’t taste serious. It’s good but not fussy, and we like that.

Muirhead Pecan Pumpkin Butter ($7) has a tart, acidic flavor profile very similar to apple butter, except for the gourd-y aftertaste. Swirl it in oatmeal, smear it on toast, or use it in baked goods.

If you took the texture of Pirate's Booty, the sweet malty cereal notes of Apple Jax, a dusting of legit pumpkin spice flavor, and a not-too-sweet caramel coating, you'd basically have Cosmos Creations Pumpkin Spice ($4). In sum, they're not too sweet, nor too austere, and the texture is killer.

Malty with a pumpkin pie spice finish, Uinta Oak Jacked Imperial Pumpkin ($14) is for those who enjoy a heavier beer with a slightly bitter ending. The oak and pumpkin flavors are mild, but the vanilla, caramel, and spice are really amped up.

Thomas Pumpkin Spice Bagels ($5) are everything you want in a pumpkin-spiced goodie. Made with real pumpkin and cinnamon, the bagels have visible flecks of spice and intoxicatingly delicious bits of gourd studded throughout. The scent (even when the bagels are enclosed in the bag) will waft through your kitchen in a delightful, gimme-more way. Toast a bagel up and watch your tub of cream cheese disappear at an alarming rate.

If you like the idea of Starbucks's pumpkin spice latte, but you aren't too keen on how sweet it is, Califia Farms Pumpkin Spice Latte ($4) might just be the drink for you. Creamy with a gentle balance between coffee's bitter flavor and pumpkin spice, this almond-milk-based cold brew coffee tastes like if you combined pumpkin pie and eggnog, but without the sugar coma.