Cruel Intentions: The Unauthorized Musical Review

1 Capture Every Moment

Image Source: Abel Armas

The musical, performed in a bar, kicked off with Sebastian (Ryan Phillippe's role) encouraging the audience not to turn off their phones, but rather take them out and take pictures during the show using #CruelIntentionsMusical, which is not only brilliant marketing, but also perhaps the future of theatergoing. Also don't we do this during dating too by Instagramming every moment? It’s nice to take pictures throughout a relationship (not all need to be posted) to remind yourself of why you broke up or why you are still together.

1 / 7

2 True Love Doesn't Change

Image Source: Abel Armas

When I asked the musical's director and coadapter Lindsey Rosin what working on this play reminded her about love, she said, "The things we love, especially the things we love when we're young, don't ever really leave us — whether that's people or moments or movies or songs or whatever. . . . It stays with you. And luckily for all of us involved with Cruel Intentions the musical, this movie has stayed with a lot of people and was really important them. Hopefully we're living up to the high expectations that the movie set for everyone."

2 / 7

3 Try to Incorporate Lingerie Into Your Daywear

Image Source: Abel Armas

I'm referring to that corset/blazer combo SMG rocked in the movie, which they played homage to in this musical parody (it's everything). I love how this look says, "I'm a professional, but I also like to have fun."

3 / 7

4 Keep Your Hormones in Check

Image Source: Abel Armas

There’s a fine line between lust and love, and hormones are somewhere on that line. Thinking back on high school love, young love, etc., was that love or hormones? In the Cruel Intentions musical, they perfectly nail this when Kathryn and Sebastian sing "Genie in a Bottle," capturing their sexual tension. It's not on the original Cruel Intentions soundtrack, but it fits perfectly with the theme of this show. “Hormones racing at the speed of light, but that don’t mean it's gotta be tonight.” Does that not perfectly summarize high school, or what?

4 / 7

5 Let Your Walls Down

Image Source: Abel Armas

I remember seeing Cruel Intentions as a kid at camp, and hands down everyone’s favorite scene was when Annette (Reese Witherspoon) loses her virginity to Sebastian (scored to "Colorblind" by Counting Crows) because it's beautiful and also sexy. The musical stages this scene perfectly with the signature song, and for the first time I understood the lyrics, “I am covered in skin, no one gets to come in.” That is dating essentially, isn’t it? We all have walls, and gradually we let them down to our partner, until we are vulnerable.

5 / 7

6 Games Hurt

Image Source: Columbia Pictures

Another great track added to the musical was Jewel’s “Foolish Games." Annette sings it to Sebastian after she finds out she was a bet. The lyric “these foolish games are tearing me apart” just reminded me of how painful dating games can be, and sometimes it’s best just to be honest instead of tearing apart your partner.

6 / 7

7 Try to Break Your Mold

The show closed with the movie's signature song, The Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony." And for the first time, I really heard the lyrics: "No change, I can change, I can change, but I'm here in my mold." Isn't that what dating is essentially? You date within a mold, be it what you look for in a partner or how you think you should behave around a love interest, but it's not until you break your mold or dating patterns that lead to failure that you find success — otherwise it's insanity.

Perhaps I’m getting a little too deep with my reflections. Bottom line: The Unauthorized Musical Parody of Cruel Intentions is dope and you should check it out immediately. Your inner '90s child will thank you.

7 / 7