This Is How to Let Them Know You Just Aren't Feeling It

Dating can get tricky — especially when you realize the relationship is going nowhere. We partnered with Netflix's new series Love for this helpful post on the best ways to make your exit.

The beginning stages of a new romance are so exciting. You get tingly before meeting up, send tons of cute texts, and are caught up in the potential of it all. But it's a bummer when the feeling kinda slips away and you're stuck with the no-fun task of breaking it off. No one likes rejection, and when things aren't vibing, you have to do something. But you can make it less dramatic for everyone involved.

1. Be honest: The worst is when things get strung out, which can leave hurt feelings. The moment you know you aren't feeling the romance, proceed with honesty and kindness. Keep it short and sweet, but let the person you've been seeing know that you just aren't interested anymore. Ditch the whole "it's not you" thing and speak from your heart.
2. Plan it out: There's no need to go into specifics about why the feeling is gone. But it is a smart idea to plan out what you're going to say so you don't find yourself stumbling over words. Think about going with something along the lines of, "I really care about our friendship" or "I have different goals right now."
3. Stick to it: Once you've had the talk, avoid backtracking. If you aren't interested, don't cave when lonely with a "What are you doing tonight?" text. This sends mixed messages and is completely unfair to the other person. Instead, call a girlfriend.
4. Make it a date: Letting someone down is no fun — especially when there are others observing the breakup. Stick to a semiprivate location for sharing your feelings, like a park or quiet cafe. This keeps it out of one of your personal spaces, which can get awkward. Avoid sending an email or text, because that's just lame.
5. Be understanding: Since you are ending a relationship, there's a big chance they aren't going to respond with loving comments. Be understanding and prepared for some harsh words. Do everything possible in your being to avoid lashing out or engaging in a blame game.
6. Text it: If you've had the big convo in person and things just aren't clicking, it's OK to send a quick text, which might completely clear the air. Send a short and direct "Sorry, I'm just not feeling the chemistry," which gets the message across without any further back and forth.
7. Fade out: We are not supporters of "ghosting," which is when someone you're totally into and have been on multiple dates with drops off the planet, because that's just plain disrespectful. But if the relationship has been super casual or if it's in the very beginning stages, it's OK to let it fade out. When one of you finally reaches out, sending a "let's just be friends" text or email works.
8. Decline a date: Another way to get the message across is to decline a date. You can brush it off as being busy, or simply be direct and say you don't want to take the relationship any further.
9. End it right: You are on a first date, and even before you've hit the midway point, you already know it's not going to happen. Enjoy the time you're having together, but when it comes to that awkward end, be straight with your date and let them know you had a great time but didn't feel a connection. Smile, exit.

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