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Newlyweds Moving In Together

8 Tips For Newlyweds Moving In Together

Deciding to wait until marriage to move in together is a choice that many couples make. And though any couple's move-in is a serious step, there's something particularly significant about newlyweds starting a life together. It's exhilarating but certainly a little scary, so I've come up with some tips for moving in with your new spouse.

  1. Talk money beforehand. Discussing and deciding who's paying for what prior to signing a lease or shelling out a down payment will save you many potential headaches down the road.
  2. Be prepared for an adjustment. Once you're living together, there are certain parts of your relationship that will naturally change. Whether those changes are good or bad will be determined based on your attitude toward them, so stay positive.
  3. Figure out both of your expectations regarding cleanliness. And if they're different, come up with a compromise you both can live with.
  4. It's likely that you and your new spouse don't share the same style when it comes to household decor. Instead of battling it out over every piece of furniture, just come up with an entirely new style that can work for both of you.
  5. As far as making your home habitable — signing up for utilities, fixing up the odds and ends, decorating, etc. — don't make the common assumption that everything has to be done together. Let each of you take on a responsibility that you're good at or have an interest in.
  6. It's OK to keep your own space. Everyone needs personal space, so don't feel guilty or hurt if you and your spouse want to have your own nook, drawer, room, cabinet, or area.
  7. As with every aspect of a relationship, communication is extremely important. Talk about your needs, boundaries, and concerns before they become full-fledged issues.
  8. Take a moment or two each day to show your appreciation to each other. Whether it's an affectionate hug and kiss or a simple "thank you," it's important to recognize everything the other person does — it will make for a more harmonious relationship in the long term.
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Join The Conversation
SomethingWicked SomethingWicked 9 years
OMG I about had a heart attack when My Soon-to be moved in with me in my apartment. We had been together for 5 years going on 6(mostly long distance with different collages) and I really wanted to live with him for a couple of months before we got married. MAN IT WAS DIFFERENT...we didn't know how to give each other space without hurting each other. It was RUFF the first month but now (2 months later..and moves into a house) WAY better...we thought our communication was great before, but now even better. Don't get me wrong we are still working out the Kinks...but I am very happy that I got this HUGE change over and done with before the wedding so that I can enjoy the wedding and honeymoon with less worries. ~but to each there own...this way just worked best for me :)
fcseamstress fcseamstress 9 years
javsmav - Chill sweetie! Some people know each other well enough to make the leap into marriage and living together at once, and some people need more gradual steps. Me? I'm so glad we've done the gradual approach. I lived with 1 guy besides my FH, and it's a good thing I did. He wasn't controlling in the least until we moved in together, but then it was a total 180; could have turned into a very abusive marriage if it was all at once. My BF took both the leaps at once, her husband did a 180 and now she's recovering from some serious abuse and going through a divorce. On the other hand, I've got two friends that just took 3 leaps at once (marriage, living and baby!) and they're doing great. Good thing about living with the first jerk was before I moved in with FH I knew what what to look for. (Just for reference, I dated 1st guy nearly twice as long as FH before moving in.) These are all great pieces of advice Sugar. I would add as a sub-topic to communication: Talk about what you expect of guests in your new home. Is it ok for people to drop by unannounced? Stay overnight? Different guidelines for family and friends? Those can be sticky subjects that can breed lots of conflict.
javsmav javsmav 9 years
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 9 years
I dont think I could marry a person if I haven't lived with them. At least in the engagement phase I'd want to live with them for a few months. I don't believe you know a person til you live with them.
Zulkey Zulkey 9 years
My fiance and I don't fight a ton but every once and a while we get under each other's skin and it's nice to live in a townhouse with more than one floor so that when we feel the need to we can get away from each other but still be in the same house.
javsmav javsmav 9 years
You do not have to live with someone to know them. I am so sick of this argument. If you want to live with your SO before marriage, then fine, but don't say that I don't know my boyfriend because we haven't lived together. And I have lived with an ex before & guess what, I didn't learn anything new by living with him, because I got to know him before we moved in together. I find it really condescending to say someone's relationship isn't at a certain level based on their living arrangements. These are great tips, Dear. Thanks.
valancyjane valancyjane 9 years
I would advise any couple (married or not) to take some dedicated time to set up the household -- together. You don't have to be working on the same project, but if you're both there then there's no hurt feelings about who's doing more work, and you have a chance to discuss any issues that come up. Taking some time off is really good for this if you can swing it. Getting the furniture and boxes in is just a small part of the work -- it takes a lot of time and energy to get everything set up, and if you're trying to fit in between work and your other obligations, it's really easy to get behind and get frustrated. You need time together, without other pressures.
jessie jessie 9 years
i moved in with my now husband when i was still in highschool. had half of my senior year to still complete. we hashed it out and agreed that sinced he could work full time, he paid most of the bills. i worked almost everyday after school and pitched in what meager money i made. but since i wasn't making much, i took over cleaning and trying to make a effort to cook. ' to me it makes sense to live together before you get married for while. but i know to others they cherish the thought of waiting until married until doing so. either way you do it, its a learning game! :)
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
the fun part about waiting was figuring all that out together, as a married couple.
Frenched Frenched 9 years
Cleanliness and organization have definitely been aspects that for my husband and me we have simply clashed. I'm a true Virgo: a bit of a neat-freak! But yes, I completely agree that there has to be a happy-medium.
SATClover SATClover 9 years
My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year now and it has been absolutely wonderful. And we do ALL of those things listed above. Those tips are great advice for anyone. Oh yeah except 4 wasn't a problem for us, we pretty much agree on everything when it comes to home decorating!
cmd0610 cmd0610 9 years
I respect people that wait to move in until they are married- but honestly I think living together before reaching those levels of commitment (even before getting engaged) gives you a chance to work out almost all of those 8 issues- particularly finance issues, but it applies strongly also to cleanliness, sleeping schedules, random habits, etc- I feel that you don't really really know someone until you've had to spend 24hrs a day with them- I think little things that you don't expect could mess up your future relationship and by living together you can sort those out before the final commitment is made . . .just my opinion. . .
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
Great tips Dear! Me and my boyfriend are planning to move in together next year. I will keep these tips in mind. :D
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