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Red Flags Men Do

19 Things a Man Might Say or Do That Are Serious Red Flags

It's no secret that guys can say some pretty dumb things at times, but there are some choice phrases that you should be especially aware of. Dear Wendy shares 19 things a man might say or do that are serious red flags.

Whether he's your boss, a date, a boyfriend, a stranger on the street, a guy hitting on you in a bar, or your partner's drunk uncle, stay as far away as you can if a man says or does any of these things:

Related: Dear Wendy: "I Found Out He Has a Wife and Kids"

  1. When he's not the one doing it, he doesn't understand why you're upset about being catcalled and thinks you really ought to be flattered! After all, he'd be stoked if some woman on the street said he was lookin' good today.
  2. You've been dating for more than six months, and he still hasn't introduced you to anyone else in his life (friends, family, etc.). His dog walker or dry cleaner doesn't count.
  3. "You always look so serious." Or the granddaddy of all red flag comments: "Smile!!"
  4. He tells you that you're so much smarter than most women he knows.
  5. He yells at you for not having a "proper backup plan" when you take a couple days off from work following your miscarriage.
  6. He bad-mouths his ex.
  7. He has kids, but he never, ever mentions them.
  8. He explains something to you that you haven't asked for an explanation about or expressed confusion over.
  9. He explains why your political views are "wrong" (as opposed to simply explaining his arguments for his political beliefs).

Related: Dear Wendy: "Oops, I Said Yes to Two Weddings on the Same Day"

  1. He tells you that he used to fantasize about killing his mother.
  2. He has a pet named after himself. (I know someone like this.)
  3. When you share something with him that you've been working on that you're really proud of (a piece of art, some writing, your new PR in running), he tells you he thinks you or it "is cute."
  4. He tells you all the time how pretty you are, but he doesn't express interest or appreciation in any of your other awesome traits.
  5. He tells you that you're a lot funnier than most women he knows.
  6. He "doesn't have anything against [a minority group]" — he just doesn't want to live near/work with/have to see them regularly.
  7. He repeatedly tells you you're too good for him.
  8. He assumes you don't like or understand sports because you're a woman.
  9. He assumes you like to cook, shop, and watch The Bachelor because you're a woman.
  10. "Oh, come on, just the tip."

Related: Dear Wendy: What the Cost of Your Engagement Ring Predicts About Your Wedding

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