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Things You Do After a Breakup

5 Things We've All Experienced After a Breakup

You KNOW you've posted an inspirational quote after a breakup. And that's totally OK. Twins Karen and Kristy Ambrose, also known as The Ambrose Girls, share the five things we've all done after a rough breakup.

For a while, we really thought we were different. But after much thought and consideration, we have come to face the cold, hard truth. When we go through breakups, we are just like every other wine-guzzling, postbreakup lady out there. We go into full-on postbreakup mode. Meaning: we never understand the breakup. Even if we were the dumper, we didn't want it somehow. We try to soothe our wounds with One Direction. We go to anyone and everyone who is willing to lend an ear; hell, we would ask our pillow for advice if it would talk back to us. But when all those things just don't soothe us quite enough, we all experience the following things:

1. You see their car EVERYWHERE.

While you were dating, you were fully aware that their car is a limited edition, and it stuck out like a sore thumb. Now that the breakup has sunk in, you feel like this "limited edition" car is the hottest set of wheels on the road. You see it everywhere! Every time you see "the car," your mind spirals into a series of questions: "was that them?," "who else was in the car?," "why was it by that apartment complex?!" After almost hitting several cars, on several occasions, you realize this car spotting has become a problem, yet you still can't help but do it every time you're driving.

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2. Wine and inspirational quotes are your new best friends.

You can't fathom being able to fall asleep without some kind of buzz. So the workers at your local wine store now know your life story, because you're there every day. Between wine sips, you try to distract yourself from your sadness and depression. Where to turn? Well, as people who are constantly on our phones, inevitably you are staring at yours for some kind of support. You try to occupy your fingers from typing in their @ mentions so you start looking up love stories and inspirational messages. You exhaust the "love" search on Pinterest and are 76 weeks into thegoodquotes Instagram page. In your wine haze, you start having hope for, well, whatever it is, and you start feeling better.

3. You attempt to change your appearance.

So . . . you realize you're single again and take a long look into the mirror. You immediately want to change something about what you see, ASAP! Hair? He always liked bleach blondes, I should do that! Get a tan? Nope, don't want to age prematurely on top of being single. OH! I know, work my ass off to get an ass! Whatever it is you choose, you're gung ho on making sure you go above and beyond your appearance transformation, even if it means dyeing your hair 40 shades lighter than it should be. By this point, you've convinced yourself that you've been meaning to do this for years.

4. You take to the social medias.

Let's be honest, everyone who is close to you knows ALL about your recent heartbreak, but the social medias sure don't! Although unfollowing and unfriending have occurred, you made sure to click "no" on your privacy settings, just in case your ex is creeping. You go out to the coolest restaurants and clubs wearing sexy outfits solely to post that you're living it up. No one can turn down like you can! But somehow, that's not enough for you; you feel like you have to twist the knife more. Remember that one guy he was always jealous of? Insert new BFF in all posts! Not only was this guy hot before, but he's even hotter now as he aides your social media facade.

5. You swear your phone is malfunctioning.

In your postbreakup mind, you no longer trust that we are in the prime age of technology, and you are convinced your phone is constantly malfunctioning. You've gone so far as to turn it off and back on again under the assumption there is absolutely NO way your ex hasn't texted or called. You fiddle with it so much you want to throw it on the ground to get it to work, until you give up and talk yourself into believing that whatever text you missed, it had to be for "some reason."

People might judge us for engaging in these behaviors, but we just can't help it. At the end of the day, who cares if you are OCD about spotting their car or posting complete lies on the medias? While in the land of postbreakup mode, go balls deep in whatever helps heal your wounds; it's the only way to move on and find your next significant other!

Image Source: Shutterstock
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